For those of you who did not grow up in Atlanta in the eighties, please bear with a middle-aged man's ramblings about a time long gone.
For those of you who did, well, let's go home.
YOU KNOW YOU GREW UP IN 1980s ATLANTA WHEN:
There will never be a greater movie theater than the dollar movie at Toco Hills.
If Gordon Soley is not doing the interviews, it is not real wrestling.
You know why Ross and Wilson were fired from Z-93.
A member of your family has disappeared and it is entirely possible that they were paved over during the "Freeing the Freeways" project.
You remember that occasionally, channel 36 would show uncut films.
You have seen a Burt Reynolds movie being filmed downtown.
You know about the secret screen at the Lenox Square movie theater which is actually smaller than your television today.
Explaining to friends from up north that Krystals and White Castles are not the same thing is second nature.
You have seen a Braves game on television where they had more people on the field than in the stands.
You have been furious because you wanted to read Grizzard and the only paper left was a Journal.
You remember when there were 7-Elevens, Majik Markets, and Tennecos.
The word Camaro instantly conjures the image of a Rebel flag bandanna tied around a rear view mirror which now resides on top of the dashboard.
It does not matter where you have been, the longest drive on Earth is Interstate 16 to Savannah. Particularly if you have to pee.
The words "New Midfield Terminal" have significance.
You remember English being spoken on Buford Highway.
A friend from California was overjoyed to discover that we had Del Taco...and you liked them better than Taco Bell, anyway.
Buying a car that already had a new tag sticker meant you had until next April to get insurance and put it in your name.
You took a train with friends from out of town to show it off, not because it actually went anywhere you wanted to go...yet.
Going to Chattanooga to get porn was actually necessary.
You remember staying up until midnight to watch Dave Allen at Large on channel 11.
The words "...enough carpet to cover Cleveland. Completely!" instantly bring back a Pythonian image of the Statue of Liberty stating "Thank Goodness!"
Your friends from Cleveland failed to see the humor in the Statue of Liberty's gratitude over enough carpet to cover Cleveland. Completely.
Wes and Monica are on channel 2 Action News. Forrest and Pam are on channel 5 Eyewitness News. CNN's next hires are on 11 Alive Newsroom.
A socially inept classmate was still a member of the channel 46 Goodtime Gang.
You remember the Purple Cow and at least one of your classmates being mortified by a personal message contained within.
You have never played the dozens. But you have damn sure jawned somebody good.
Shopping for a car meant going to Starvin' Marvin's on a Tuesday for the Auto Trader, Wednesday for Tradin' Times, and Thursday for the Atlanta Advertiser.
A long Friday night at the midnight movies ends by sobering up at the Waffle House, stepping out into the humidity, and asking, "Where the hell am I. And what the hell did I do with my car?"
For those of you who did, well, let's go home.
YOU KNOW YOU GREW UP IN 1980s ATLANTA WHEN:
There will never be a greater movie theater than the dollar movie at Toco Hills.
If Gordon Soley is not doing the interviews, it is not real wrestling.
You know why Ross and Wilson were fired from Z-93.
A member of your family has disappeared and it is entirely possible that they were paved over during the "Freeing the Freeways" project.
You remember that occasionally, channel 36 would show uncut films.
You have seen a Burt Reynolds movie being filmed downtown.
You know about the secret screen at the Lenox Square movie theater which is actually smaller than your television today.
Explaining to friends from up north that Krystals and White Castles are not the same thing is second nature.
You have seen a Braves game on television where they had more people on the field than in the stands.
You have been furious because you wanted to read Grizzard and the only paper left was a Journal.
You remember when there were 7-Elevens, Majik Markets, and Tennecos.
The word Camaro instantly conjures the image of a Rebel flag bandanna tied around a rear view mirror which now resides on top of the dashboard.
It does not matter where you have been, the longest drive on Earth is Interstate 16 to Savannah. Particularly if you have to pee.
The words "New Midfield Terminal" have significance.
You remember English being spoken on Buford Highway.
A friend from California was overjoyed to discover that we had Del Taco...and you liked them better than Taco Bell, anyway.
Buying a car that already had a new tag sticker meant you had until next April to get insurance and put it in your name.
You took a train with friends from out of town to show it off, not because it actually went anywhere you wanted to go...yet.
Going to Chattanooga to get porn was actually necessary.
You remember staying up until midnight to watch Dave Allen at Large on channel 11.
The words "...enough carpet to cover Cleveland. Completely!" instantly bring back a Pythonian image of the Statue of Liberty stating "Thank Goodness!"
Your friends from Cleveland failed to see the humor in the Statue of Liberty's gratitude over enough carpet to cover Cleveland. Completely.
Wes and Monica are on channel 2 Action News. Forrest and Pam are on channel 5 Eyewitness News. CNN's next hires are on 11 Alive Newsroom.
A socially inept classmate was still a member of the channel 46 Goodtime Gang.
You remember the Purple Cow and at least one of your classmates being mortified by a personal message contained within.
You have never played the dozens. But you have damn sure jawned somebody good.
Shopping for a car meant going to Starvin' Marvin's on a Tuesday for the Auto Trader, Wednesday for Tradin' Times, and Thursday for the Atlanta Advertiser.
A long Friday night at the midnight movies ends by sobering up at the Waffle House, stepping out into the humidity, and asking, "Where the hell am I. And what the hell did I do with my car?"
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