Sarah Punchline

Nothing brightens the day more than discovering a fresh encounter between Sarah Palin and the media. (Please see enclosed link.) Of the most reknowned political figures extant, she manages to combine what appears to be a complete lack of situational awareness with folksy vernacular, to live down to the widespread perception that Sarah Palin is an ill-natured Ditz.

This is the point where very passionate and committed Republican partisans fire off an e-mail to your Wandering Gentile, reprimanding a reproach of their beloved Governor Palin. This is usually accomplished with as little attention as can be paid to grammar and still be technically written. There are exceptions who will offer a reasonable discussion of Mrs. Palin's achievements, but most frequently one receives presonal affronts.

The saddest thing about committed "Joe the Plumber" conservatives is that many of them are personable, decent human beings who have been so indoctrinated by the venom and vitriol on AM talk radio that there may never be any hope of reconciliation with a broader America. Not everything conservative is wrong, but a lot of the presentation is. Mrs. Palin is a weak speaker who interviews poorly. She comes from the vernacular of talk radio, which if presented with certain accomplishments of the Reagan administration, might very well call Ronald Reagan a Socialist. (Well, they're wrong about nearly everything else...)

It leaves Mrs. Palin of being supported by people who were going to vote Republican, anyway, and no one else. Democrats and liberals are well served by encouraging Mrs. Palin's broader aspirations. Indeed, the Limbaughesque tactic of supporting the weaker candidate could be a justifiable turnabout on the practices of Karl Rove and Lee Atwater. Palin is already the choice of the conservative opinion apparatus, as well as those information structure is based upon Fox News and the Internet's NewsMax service.

This information structure embraced by Palin's supporters also caters to a particular subset of conservatism which is better described as enumerating more heads than natively occurring teeth within.

This ostensibly paleoconservative subset has allied itself with some of the more extraordinary conspiracy theories, including the questioning of Mr. Obama's citizenship. They have cited the lapse between his birth on Friday, August 4, 1961 at 7:24pm and his registration with the Hawaii Bureau of Vital Records on Tuesday August 8, 1961, probably between 8am and 5pm, as being part of a conspiracy to cover up his birth in Indonesia.

Okay, five years later it took almost TWO WEEKS for a birth certificate to make its way from Savannah to Atlanta. Maybe I'm actually Canadian! It would certainly explain my liking for the sport of Curling, and preference for Pontiacs over Chevrolets!

The real truth is much more mundane. The Palinite subset is not capable of accepting the fact that they lost the election. Nor will they consider that Mrs. Palin may have had some consequence upon the ticket. It has become easier for paleoconservatives to engage in a quixotic fight against imagined enemies than make changes to the substance of their presentation and engage more people in the market of ideas.

More painful for liberals and neoliberals alike is that Palin's ultimate effect upon the outcome of the election was negligible at best. The fact was that Barack Obama ran a spectaularly effective campaign, and there may not be any Republican who could have won against any Democrat in 2008. Bush was that much of an Albatross.

Now come some words that the Gentle Reader may not expect: Sarah Palin is doing something very astute right now. By setting herself as the victim of a poorly executed campagn and a hostile press, her trajectory is set within the party. She is already the front runner for the 2012 campaign. But a few obstacles remain.

1.) Mike Huckabee. He's a better speaker, spectacularly likeable, and an extremely competent campaigner. Issue for issue, Huck is a mirror of Governor Palin's positions, but much less unwise in the stewardship of his presentation. He's relatively young, and a smart move would be to curry favor with Palin, land the number two slot in 2012, get the party on board, and win in 2016.

2.) Palin needs an image makeover. Nixon did it in '68, so we know it's not impossible. But most of Nixon's image rebuild relied upon Lyndon Johnson, and most of Palin's will be heavily dependent upon Barack Obama.

One foresees an Obama administration building upon the campaign infrastructure-in fact he has already started-with the ability to leverage the Obama Brand Goodwill through direct communication with supporters. This is the mother of all things big. In an instant Mr. Obama can connect to millions to plead his case for his legislative agenda. In other words, he can stand toe-to-toe with talk radio and have a chance of achieving his goals.

Likewise, he will take a cautious tack with his legislative priorities. Obama, likely more than anyone else, has the capacity to understand that he represents the aspirations of millions of Americans whose voices have been stifled for centuries. The cost of imprudence or incompetence would weigh unbearably upon the shoulders of the majority of americans who are not white, non-latino males.

To bet against Obama appears very foolish.

FIRST 2012 ELECTION PREDICTION!!!

Obama-Clinton (You saw it here first.) 425-475 Electoral Votes.

Palin-Huckabee 63-113 Electoral Votes.

FIRST 2016 ELECTION PREDICTION!!!

Alls I got is an image of the Arkansas governor's mansion. You know, the triple-wide in Little Rock.

Debunking The News

If one reads the newspaper or receives the news directly from television or an internet connection, as the case may be, there are a few things which deserve to be debunked. One does not refer to the strict partisanship of Fox News or NPR , but rather the orthodox phrasing which masks the true meaning of what has just been said.

Thus, with no further ado, Your Wandering Gentile offers a comprehensive, although not completely conclusive list of bogus words, phrases and comments found in the news.

A Long Illness- Cancer, AIDS, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's.

A Short Illness- The deceased dropped face-first in his plate at dinner. Survivors regret that it did not happen at Chuck E. Cheese as opposed to a restaurant they liked.

Popular- Any teenager who gets shot.

Honor Student- The teenager was also a member of a historically marginalized population.

In The Wrong Place At The Wrong Time- Was probably doing something wrong, but it can't be proved, thus exposing Media Conglomerate News to a lot of libel litigation if we say so.

Friend and Adviser; Unpaid Adviser- Goon, Hatchet Man, Golf/Drinking Buddy. Unlikely to be fired.

Firebrand, Populist- Loudmouth, Bigot. (See: Bunker, Archie; Dobbs, Lou.)

New Revenue Sources- Higher taxes.

A Controversial Policy- Usually something which leads to a Fundamental Reconsideration or a Clean Break With The Past.

Fundamental Reconsideration- We realized that we screwed up, and are going nuts trying to fix it before we lose our collective tuchas.

Clean Break With The Past- If you have fecal incontinence issues, don't sleep in the nude. We learned this one the hard way.

Economic Downturn- Well, it sounds much better than Recession or Depression, doesn't it?

Recession- Depression

Depression- Economic armageddon. Completely failed nation-state. (See Zimbabwe.)

Zimbabwe- How a country with prodigious resources and talent can be converted into an utter cesspool through spectacularly poor leadership. (See Robert Mugabe.)

Robert Mugabe- The Shona-language term which most closely approximates George W. Bush.

A Mutual Separation- Everyone was REALLY annoyed, but no gunfire was exchanged.

Exchanged Gunfire- What is this, Christmas? It's called a gun battle!

We have realized a change in direction.- Catastrophic failure is imminent.

We are reassessing our options.- God almighty, that HURTS!

We regret any inconvenience this may have caused.- Not really; we are just covering ourselves. But it sounds nice, doesn't it?

We discovered adjustments and revised our estimates.- Miraculously not releasing our new numbers until 4:05pm on Friday, after our CEO cashed out his stock options and was in the air on a plane from Miami to the republic of Dinero Lavado. (It's on the tapestry at Cooter Holler Elementary in Wolfboro, GA, and was the setting for most "A-Team" episodes.)

The time is not right for us to pursue this opportunity.- We are out of money.

Let's not rush to judgement with legislation.- That hooker the lobbyist sent looked just like Reese Witherspoon. She smelled good, too.

More industry oversight is unnecessary.- You're darn tootin'. That would just document that more people lost their homes and retirement savings to undisciplined greed than gay weddings, abortion, illegal immigration, restrictive gun laws and a lack of drug interdiction combined.

I haven't heard any negative feedback, and I am shocked to discover that some individuals are calling for our professional relationship to end.- You haven't got anything on me, and I found another job anyway. Either way, I can afford to be both smarmy and indifferent.

I do not believe that there has been any inappropriate activity.- I don't think anyone has video or any kind of tangible evidence linking me to the misbehavior.

Video Leads To Investigation- This is 2009, fool. Everybody and his mother has a cell phone that takes video. Do not screw around. Even paranoids have enemies.

Results Are Inconclusive.- We either don't care or have a real good reason for not wanting or having a public result. (Think WMDs, c.2003) Either way, we don't really know any more than we did before we started. How about some nice Britney Spears Gossip? TMZ is on channel 5 right now!

Investigation Could End Soon.- Investigation was over some time ago. We have been out of clues for quite a while, but we liked being on television, looking like we're earning a living.

Possibility Of A Compromise- Not really, we're just messing with you. If a compromise were possible, it already would have happened.

A penalty of up to...- If suspect was wealthy or famous at any point in time, multiply by a factor of 0-0.25. If suspect is needy (poor), he should pray that the lapsed insurance violation doesn't get him a trip to Old Sparky.

Getting His (or Her) Life Back Together- Just got out out of the joint and/or shot, applied for a job at Burger King. Wasn't qualified for the position before being incarcerated and/or shot.

Aspiring performer- Unemployed and unemployable. Also just got out of the joint and/or shot.

Memoir of Historical Experiences- A very bad book derived from a deal of personal and political patronage. Will be offloaded at huge discounts to institutions for the tax write-off against the profits from the latest blockbuster novel from a name-brand author.

I have concluded that the circumstances require me to withdraw my name from consideration for the position, and allow the important work that needs to be done to move forward without delay.- Dude, I am seriously overqualified for this crap job. My agent just got me a kick-ass deal on a Memoir of Historical Experiences that pays me like five years in this job I could do in my sleep, no vetting required. Call me when you got something I need my skills for. A'ite? Peace!

What you have to understand is...- I am flat out of cogent arguments supporting my position, thus I have to maintain the illusion of reason by using a phrase designed to ridicule and subvert the cognitive ability of those who disagree with my opinion.

This process is not at an end- Oh yes, it is.

Detroit, We Hardly Knew Ye

Detroit, Michigan has joined Cleveland, Ohio, on the list of major American Cities that have died. Among the very ill remain Cincinnati, Ohio; St. Louis, Missouri; and Buffalo, New York.

Most tragically, the blame will be firmly placed upon the shoulders of the United Auto Workers, Toyota, and Honda.

The same United Auto Workers who built Mustangs, Chevelles, and Hemis are not to blame. These cars came from an era when domestic manufacturers competed to offer the consumer every type of experience and a well-engineered product free of defects related to the design and engineering process. They proffered a wide range of products that were usually well suited to the market.

When Big Three managers endeavoured to seek their fortunes in saturated markets, they invariably failed. When Big Three managers fail, the city of Detroit suffers. One company chose to offer a product identical in mission and market to the fading product of a competitor. It was ill timed, arriving concurrently with a deep recession. The vehicle was overstyled, overcontented, and the innovations were at best underengineered.

2008? No the year was 1957, when Ford introduced to great fanfare and hoopla, the Edsel Division. The issue was that there were several nameplates, Dodge, Desoto, Chrysler, Mercury, Pontiac, Oldsmobile, and Buick, competing for the same affluent, upper-middle class buyer. However, it is the same market where SUVs thrived for several years.

The same intransigent myopia that pushed the Edsel out into a saturated market became entrenched. The cost of labor, including legacy costs, is nothing compared to the losses faced by major manufacturers when a well-connected manager gets the urge to push the Next Big Thing.

Labor only builds the vehicle.

American labor, Union and non-Union alike, is capable of building world-class products. There is no quality gap between Kentucky Fried Camrys and their Japanese-made equivalents. The Mustangs, Chevelles, and Hemis have spawned an entire cottage industry serving owners with the purpose of keeping these cars in a perpetual state of 1966. When American business decides to compete, no one can keep up.

Some well-connected person in a Detroit office tower decided that the best way to compete was to move into markets which were already proven. The only defense against solid engineering and good craftsmanship was to camouflage archaic technology with leather seats and louder stereos. Turn up that James Blunt song to drown out the squeaks and rattles in his key.

Edsel II. More tacky, less technique.

In the 1958 model year, only one US carmaker grew significantly. That was Kenosha, Wisconsin's American Motors. They reintroduced the austere Rambler American compact, which retained essential styling from 1950 until it was rebodied for the 1961 model year. It was the 1960 model year when the Big Three brought compacts out. Edsel and Desoto both died in calendar 1960, although Chrysler built a few '61 Desotos.

Rambler did not kill Edsel and DeSoto: a poor understanding of the market and the needs of the consumer did. Toyota has posted a loss on their range owing to the failing sales of large pickup trucks and SUVs. It was not Toyota's reputation, quality, or engineering which lost money: it was an overcommitment to products which did not suit the desires of the market.

Corollas, Priuses, and those ugly little Scions that look like refrigerators are still selling.

Detroit did not die from the work of her citizens, but the evil which springs from the minds of those who feel it is their perogative to profit from idleness. Millions of men and women toiled in Detroit's factories, building machines which served American families well for generations.

They have been held accountable for decisions made in air-conditioned offices far from the grime and sweat of the factory floor. No such judgement has been offered to the executives who approved inferior, unsuitable, or just plain bad vehicles for these workers to build.

The executives squeezed value out of their product, assuring the death of Detroit, putting all concerned on the unemployment line. Only a few got what they deserved.

Happy New Year!

We have been away for a couple of weeks trying to put our heads on straight, or at least the best we can. In a couple of moments we will get to the first of several posts which have built up over our extended holiday break. We appreciate the support from Wandering Gentile readers, and we hope that your New Year is happy, healthy, and prosperous. We also hope that the minor alterations we have made to our look will make your experience better, and of course, something which you will wish to share with every person on the planet.

Thanks for your support!

Gil.

As the Republican Party Turns

If there is any consolation in the recession, it will be the death of the stereotype of Americans as loud, bigoted types who think Taco Bell is a major player in Mexican telecommunications, and let Rush Limbaugh do their thinking for them.

To be honest, Americans are pretty sick of persons living down to that stereotype, as well. Their ranks in legislative leadership havee been winnowed to the rural South. With this ebb, the chance of the United States developing Concentration Camps has diminished spectacularly. Now if we could get rid of Mr. Broun down in Athens, Georgia,...the one who has the conspiracy theories about Obama's new Gestapo and makes Dale Gribble seem sane, by God there may even be hope for Georgia politics. (Motto: Legislating Badly since 1733, and you can't do squat outside of Atlanta!)

One does not speak of the worthy Republican opposition of Olympia Snowe, John McCain, or Sam Brownback. While one finds points where our opinions may diverge wildly, individuals of this character and integrity are still capable and competent participants in civil discourse. When speaking of the Paul Brouns, the Tom Tancredos, and the Sarah Palins, one is forced to wade through a miasma of talk-radio fueled paranoids who see cabals where there are none, and fraud when their anti-civil-libertarian agendas fail to be rammed down the throats of the American people.

Did Republicans learn nothing from Al Gore and Cynthia McKinney? The tactics were identical.

This is not 1972 where Republicans used a large and fully functional cabal to retain power against the Democrats. In the case of Nixon versus McGovern, a cabal was overkill, a sledgehammer to kill a mosquito on a 72" television screen. McGovern was incapable of mounting a serious challenge.

Thanks to the cabal being discovered, Democrats could have trotted a trained pig out and won in 1976. One suspects that the results may have been somewhat better than Jimmy Carter.

Democrats had their Nixon in Bill Clinton. Nixon was spectaculaly unsympathetic. Clinton felt the citizen's pain a little too well, and in the case of Monica Lewinsky, got caught being a little bit too curious, using the wrong appendage to see if she had a sore throat. Plenty of people were willing to respect Nixon, but no one wanted to like him. The opposite was true of Clinton.

The excesses of both administrations led to the rise of a weak president from the opposing party.

George W. Bush has become the Republican Jimmy Carter. This time the Democrats actually learned something from the Carter debacle of the late seventies. Hillary Clinton as president could have brought the whole Carter script with an all-new cast in glorious 1080p HDTV. She has the set of insecurities which made Carter in ineffective President and a spectacularly effective Goodwill Ambassador for Peace and Democracy. She will do very well as a Secretary of State.

This is not to call Obama the same transitional figure for Democrats that Reagan was for a generation of Republican voters. Yet. But Obama's skill set is effectively the same as Reagan's. The one who communicates best wins every time. The victory is spectacular when competing with a party mired in an image of dour ineptitude.

The haranguing rhetoric of nannyist Democrats hounding people about safety or paternalist Republicans interjecting their displeasure with behavior which is best kept private were equivalent vote-losers for their respective parties. The tranquil, optimistic voices of Reagan and Obama transformed most of the rabid opposition into sober voices of disagreement, and swayed the ambivalent.

Moving forward, our nation will reclaim its "inside" voice and optimistic tone. We can no longer afford to swagger, screaming that others should "bring it on." A majority of Americans have expressed a faith in rising from humble conditions, and with the blessing of being American, realizing any objective seen fit to pursue. We just call that America.

For many it is a triumph well earned and too long denied.