24 August 2008

What's So Funny About Celebrity?

Finally! News! Obama picks Biden!

The question is what Obama gets for his ticket, and the answer is that he found a way to get Hillary Clinton's advantages, without the baggage charges on Midway, or the extra seat cost for Bill Clinton's burger-enhanced butt. Catholic, moderately liberal Biden adds overlap from Delaware, in the Philadelphia market, into southern New Jersey, where most of his fight would be in the Garden State.

Biden's blue-collar credibility is a plus in central Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, and Michigan. As the Latino communities in the southwest have been quick to embrace the Obama candidacy, Governor Richardson became redundant. One suspects that Richardson may find himself in the role of Secretary of State in an Obama administration, a task for which he is thoroughly qualified, and likely better equipped than Ms. Rice.

How credible is Senator Biden as blue collar? The man's net worth is lower than that of your Wandering Gentile, a humble trucker from Georgia. He commuted on Amtrak between Wilmington and Washington. For those in the Republican party who feel that it is the role of Government to dictate behavior to citizens, one who leads by example speaks more to the idea of behavior modification.

Taking the train to work like an ordinary guy speaks volumes about the man. Primarily, it says that he was in a position to work on Senate-related tasks as opposed to adding to the horrendous traffic on I-95, a sacrifice that many commercial drivers should appreciate. For those who have spent eternities at the toll plazas lining I-95 between Baltimore and Wilmington, as well as in the fright show of Washington traffic, profound gratitude is expressed.

Biden is the anti-celebrity, politically wedded to a figure deemed as the "...biggest celebrity in the world." Excuse me?

Yeah, there is a presidential precedent. What exactly would one call the President of the Screen Actor's Guild, and a top box-office draw? Oh, that's right, a CELEBRITY. The news flash for the GOP is this, when Ronald Reagan was an actor and broadcast personality before he was in politics, there is not a whole lot of room to talk about someone being a celebrity.

This is an example of the Rovian divisiveness that has consumed the Republican party over the last fifteen years. No characterizations will be offered here; they are gratuitous. Rove's tactics worked effectively with the rather uncompelling offerings that the Democrats presented in Gore and Kerry.

Four years ago, the Yankees were ahead of Tampa Bay, too. Add a few years of setbacks and change the cast of characters, and now Tampa Bay is on top of the American League East, which if not proof of Hell freezing over, is proof that there were low temperatures in the mid-thirties.

Returning to message, Rove tactics are not a match for a compelling candidate with talent and a motivated body of supporters. (Big Transparency Revelation, your Wandering Gentile has contributed to the Obama campaign.)

Stated simply, any voter who is likely to believe some of the more egregious exaggerations about Senator Obama, such as those concerning his religion, his patriotism, his experience, or his citizenship, was unlikely to vote Democratic in the first place. Even the reasonable Republicans who do not agree with Senator Obama on matters of accomplishing governance will admit that the Democrats are smart enough to make sure that their candidate is a United States Citizen, as prescribed in the Constitution.

The number of those who are apprehensive about Obama's non-traditional condition are overwhelmingly concentrated in a demographic that includes rural whites between fifty and dead. Of those, having Biden on the ticket is a comfort for many.

Obama is going to get a big share of people who buy Swedish cars, but he's not going to do well with Buick and Mercury owners. The fight is going to be among those who had Japanese pickups in the seventies, bought Caravans in the eighties, moved up to a Grand Cherokee in the nineties, and found themselves nostalgic for the Datsun's economy when gas hit four bucks a gallon.

In other words, the fight will go to people who might be open to an introduction from a Joe Biden. This is not a population which is intolerant or hateful, but they are quiet and thoughtful, and extremely reserved when it comes to matters of political expression. This is the group of what one guesses to be about fifteen or twenty percent of all voters.

Until now, they have been waiting for a good reason to embrace the candidate that their children have spoken highly of. The voter Biden can speak to knew of John Kennedy in his time, embraced Reagan's enthusiasm and optimism, and accepted that while Bill Clinton was less than ethical or forthcoming in his personal matters, he was an effective and competent President.

As Rove's playbook has been employed with the usual appeal to fear of the unknown, something has happened that has not happened before: the opponent has fought back. As much as many progressives like Gore and Kerry, they were products of an environment that discouraged competitive behavior and dissuaded retaliation or retribution.

The old joke is about a liberal being someone who would not take his own side in a conflict. The Obama/Biden campaign is different. There is a huge difference in acting in one's own interest, while behaving in an appropriate fashion, and being a blamed doormat. Senator Obama is no doormat, and Senator Biden is a nice aluminum baseball bat beside the bed waiting for someone who chooses to bring an uninvited conflict into a place of privacy and sanctuary.

For those who would dismiss Obama on grounds of inexperience, a hearty so what? is offered. The last that one noticed, eight years of experience have not improved the performance of President Bush, and may have made him less capable. While one may disagree appropriately with Obama's emphasis upon social activism within his Christian faith, one must not be persuaded that the Senator is anything but a Christian.

As far as challenging Obama's patriotism, the person who is most aware that his unique circumstances and diverse background would have been a greater obstacle in any country besides the United States is Obama himself. The man's gratitude is apparent, and devotion to his country is beyond question.

A message of optimism is refreshing. Change, particularly with regard to the atmosphere of paranoia and xenophobia in Washington at the moment, is not only necessary but demanded by all persons of decency and good will.

Welcome, Senator Biden. A few of us got that articulate and clean are compliments in the first place.

15 August 2008

Two Trillion Dollar Boondoggle

In a recent commentary, seen on Wednesday, August 13 in the (Jacksonville) Florida Times-Union, Ruben Navarrette stated the budget of Immigration and Customs Enforcement, as well as their manpower and the number of undocumented aliens deported.

To recap, that would be five billion dollars (US), 16,000 employees, and 30,000 deportations.

Now, if your Wandering Gentile were of a bigoted bent, he would consider this to be tantamount to one of those little round ones in the Band-Aid box (A/K/A the ones nobody has ever found a use for) on a spurting jugular vein. When one considers that there are twelve million undocumented aliens in the United States, it equates to one neighborhood out of metropolitan Los Angeles.

That's US$166,667 for every alien deported. Putting it in perspective, that is equivalent to a perfectly acceptable home in the Atlanta suburbs, and a brand-new car in the driveway.

Now, does anyone actually think that the cost would go down with volume? Nuh-uh. Nope. That happens in a market situation. If it costs ICE US$166,667 to deport an undocumented convict, it would cost more to deport somebody they had to go and look for. However, it should be considered that US$166,667 is the ante per undocumented alien for deportation.

Please understand, if someone has committed a crime of violence, or deprived someone of liberty or property through fraud, force, or duress, they need to be gone. Yesterday was not soon enough. But the vast majority of the undocumented have committed no crime besides jumping the border. Committing resources to adjudicating the harmless is a waste when there are real dangerous people out there.

In a very animated conversation, a cheerful bigot informed me that 20,000 people per year are murdered by undocumented aliens every year. That's pretty impressive considering that in 2005 the total number of murders in the United States was under 16,700, and this was the highest number of total murders since the 1970s. It sounds like one of those good true statistics that our Good Buddy Lou Dobbs likes to throw out on his nightly propaganda broadcast without vetting.

Now, going back to the twelve million, multiplying it by US$166,667, one comes up with a cool two trillion dollars. That is two trillion dollars that would have to be borrowed, probably from China. That is two trillion dollars, as in a trillion more than our little escapade in Iraq. That is two trillion dollars more on our federal deficit because bigots who claim to be "conservative" cannot admit that they have enacted a law which overreached.

That's US$6,667 for every man,, woman and child in the United States, and it's just the ante. What would be the market for goods and services from the United States when images of mass deportations hit Reuters? (Answer: Vice President Cheney's first name!) With no market for goods, if the gentle reader thinks that things aren't going well for the middle class, wait till they try hyperinflation. (Ask Zimbabwe.)

And precisely how much resolve for deportation does someone expect when the first picture of a child crying for her photogenic, deported mommy hits the news?

Ask around Postville, Iowa, for the answer to how well this would affect the United States. The city has been all but closed. The business that employed the undocumented aliens has seen no sanction, and resorted to recruiting homeless people from Texas. The crime rate in Postville has spiraled, mostly from vandalism and alcohol-related violations.

The people who are committing crimes in a peaceful little town which had been living with undocumented families are young, single men who have no connection to the community, no interest in the future, and possible substance or mental health issues. Apparently, their work papers make them better for the community...whaaat?

Some type of immigration reform would have been more productive for Postville. When considering the number who are productive members of their communities, and the economic devastation concerned with draconian laws, amnesty is much more feasible. It would be much less costly to the United States in the long term.

What brought this on was a message from Bob Quasius, a friend of the blog, whose research indicates that ALIPAC, an anti-immigrant political action group based in North Carolina, did not withhold taxes until the second quarter of this year.

The Gentle Reader is encouraged to visit Bob's site for well-vetted information which refutes the propaganda on Lou Dobbs' show. The link is the Boycott Lou Dobbs site on the upper right of the post.

One wishes to ask where Dobbs is when it comes to this Ethnocentric Special Interest Group, not paying their taxes, while advocating a message whose cost will explode the national debt, hampering and shifting the burden to the endangered middle class. We can certainly expect to see coverage on his show, right?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Two trillion dollars. Get cracking, ALIPAC.

05 August 2008

Necessary Laws

And now, a short list of laws that are not on the books, but need to be.

The Omnibus Condiment Act.- How many times must one enter a restaurant and discovered that the simple order or menu item comes with a bunch of things that are unnecessary and/or undesired?

The Omnibus Condiment Act would fix that. If I want a salad, I'll order one. If I want a burger, I'll order one of those. If there is a burger with a salad on top, WARN ME! As John Pinette says, salad is not food. Salad is what food eats.

Please do not get me started on Mayonnaise and Black Pepper. Undisclosed Mayonnaise and Black Pepper should be legislatively recognized with the punishment of having an umbrella opened in the offender's rectum.

SUV Pavement Reconstruction Levy.- Any SUV over a GVWR of 55oo pounds, as defined by the EPA, is compelled to pay a fee of US$1 per mile for every mile covered on pavement in situations not requiring four-wheel-drive. An additional US$1 per mile will be levied for every mile, per item, per vehicle: Wireless telephones, automatic transmissions, Starbucks cups (real coffee comes from the convenience store when not brewing from one's personal stash of Costa Rican beans), cosmetics sourced from a snotty individual at a high-end mall department store, and sunglasses costing over US$300.

Additionally, repeat offenders will be rehabilitated in a specially equipped Chevy Vega, Ford Pinto, or American Motors Gremlin.

National Munchie Corps.- On the model of the CCC during the Roosevelt Administration, the NMC will be tasked with the establishment of outlets from the following contractors at 50km (30 mile) intervals along the Interstate Highway System; Quik Trip, Whataburger, Del Taco, Krispy Kreme, Waffle House, Sbarro, Popeyes, and Quiznos. Additionally, NMC units will have a 50-unit motel, parking for 150-500 big trucks, and lots of green-friendly underground construction.

The Germans call this a Rasthaus, similar in execution but broader in mission than a turnpike service plaza in the United States. It would be easy to bash the idea as a government monopoly, but a publicly funded competitor...that is an idea which is not necessarily unappealing. Considering the deficit, government learning to compete is not such a bad thing at all.

And anyone who has driven from Seattle to Minneapolis understands that there is absolutely nothing to see, do, or eat if not in one of the five large towns over 1200 miles.

The mission of the Department of Transportation will be changed to assure that people who own recreational vehicles actually know how to drive the damn things before they get on the expressway. If you want to drive a house up I-95, fine. But you should be licensed to operate it on a level with a commercial driver.

Also, has anyone else figured out that large recreational vehicles are a very comfortable way to move contraband up and down the road, invisibly?

It would be easy to put a pallet of dope in a Winnebago in Miami, drive it up 95 to New York, park it and distribute in the Bronx, and basically all old people look alike to the law. No scales, no curiosity, no scrutiny. A Prevost could make two runs per week and supply the Northeast. Hello? Is there no crooked sheriff left in south Georgia with a distaste for wealthy Yankees?

Oh, I forgot, "Searching for contraband," is used to justify annoying young, economically disadvantaged, predominately minority people in US$500 vehicles sitting on US$2000 worth of custom tires and wheels. Messing with old people is verboten because they have lawyers, money, connections...

And if they also have contraband, the third thing in Warren Zevon's trifecta, guns, are abundant.

While ad hominem bills of attainder are unconstitutional, and we guarantee free speech, is there nothing that can be done to James Blunt and his ilk? It wouldn't be difficult to make the purveyors of miserable lite rock urinate down their legs in abject fear. The idea of locking them in a room with Lou Dobbs was considered, but if the eighth amendment can be applied to terror suspects, it also applies to lite rock artists.

It is a sad day when Joey Ramone, John Lennon, Buddy Holly, George Harrison, Bo Diddley, and Elvis Presley are all dead, but the Backdoor Boys, Celine Dion, James Blunt and N' Stync are all still drawing breath.

Ah, 110/70. I feel much better...

APOLOGIES

A few posts ago, Your Wandering Gentile mistakenly stated the following, and wishes to plead for the Gentle Reader's mercy.

The title "Miscellaneous Ramblings" was attributed to Autocar of the UK. The title is actually from Road and Track of the United States. I was thinking about "Jottings by the Scribe." Three listenings to "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias for your penitent Wandering Gentile.

When discussing the Electoral College, I said 535 members. Frickin DC, I totally left the poor district out. I should have said 538. Crap, that's at least an hour of Rush Limbaugh. Por mi maxima culpa.