12 August 2009

Talking About Health Care

It was a bit refreshing. The caller was not a mechanized sales pitch for an Auto Warranty or a bill collector. That, in and of itself, justified attention. A Gentle Reader was expressing concerns about health care reform. One hopes to have been persuasive in favor of a public option and President Obama’s goals. Some of the information being offered is, at best spurious, anecdotal, and inaccurate.

That is a nice way of stating that some of the rhetoric is best referred to with an eight-letter term synonymous with bovine waste. The caller was polite, and our conversation was decorous.

One was a bit dismissive of some of the caller’s sources. The broadcasters cited included several well-known conservative presenters. One of the presenters comes from a background of objective journalism. The vast majority has minimal educational attainment, and is best characterized as entertainment only.

Entertainers are well within their rights of free speech on any side of a debate. While educational attainment is no guarantor of competence or talent, the skills obtained in post-secondary education are often better predictors of reasonable debate, What has been notable from the right has been a dependence upon volume and questionable partisan sources lacking empirical integrity.

The political left has been little better. There may be method in the left’s madness. While the right has been making much of vocal displays to legislators, the left has been remarkably non-committal toward such demonstrations. By focusing upon quantitative and independent means of refuting dubious information, the Obama administration has managed to seize the mantle of reason and judgment.

This is the part where your Wandering Gentile becomes a bit sarcastic, because the spurious, anecdotal, and inaccurate are not part of the pizza he ordered.

Claim: America’s health care system is the best in the world.

Polite Response: While we remain among the foremost researchers in the world, there are some inadequacies which remain to be rectified.

Wandering Gentile Sarcastic Response: Maybe more people would be able to get the attention they need if there weren’t half a dozen drug companies sponsoring right-wing bloviators with commercials for jumped-up talleywhacker pills. Who do you think is paying Rush Limbaugh US$40,000,000 a year? It damn sure ain’t the people listening to NPR!

Claim: Health care will be rationed.


Polite Response: A plan with a strong public option will allow more people to get better care, at a lower cost.

WGSR: What, precisely do you call a bureaucrat at a for-profit insurer deciding which procedures will be covered? And who, exactly can you appeal to if and/or when coverage is denied? Does anybody think Sean Hannity is going to stand up for individuals outside his immediate circle whose insurer has declined a necessary procedure?

Claim: Evil Death Panels will euthanize the elderly and the infirm.

Polite Response: End of life counseling will be made available but not mandatory.

WGSR: Thank God Conservatives like the Second Amendment! That way when someone can’t get coverage for a chronic health condition that ruins their quality of life, they can buy a really good gun which will end their misery. It might be messy, but they won’t have to clean up.


Claim: A public option will be a terrible burden to taxpayers.

Polite Response: Legislators and the White House have been cooperating to find a revenue-neutral solution which will give every American access to health care.

WGSR: You have to be kidding me!!! Fifteen years ago, these same insurance companies promised us that they would cut costs and improve services. Now we have three times as many uninsured with costs which have wildly outpaced inflation. What the hell? On top of that, parquet floor treatments at my local hospital were tax-deductible as a business expense. Here’s a good idea! Try treating a few more patients instead of the (profanity) floors!

Claim: Socialist Health Care like Canada will mean a decline in service and increased costs.

Polite Response: If you’re happy with your private insurer, you can keep them.

WGSR: Let me see, I’m supposed to reject the system which costs half of our system, gets better results, has a spectacular approval rate, and has proven to reliably serve the entire population of Canada. In trade, I get private bureaucrats telling me that my insurance will cost more than I earn in a month, with huge co-pays, and the possibility that my claim will be rejected. Just one question-do you think I was born on Planet Stupid?


Claim: You won’t like nationalized health care, if it happens at all.

Polite Response: As with any new mechanism, some fine tuning may be necessary, but we can rise to the challenge.

WGSR: Maybe. But there is a better chance that I will be around to complain than if we continue down the track we’re on.

A Brief Obituary or Two

Walter Cronkite (1916-2009)

One promises to eschew the odious term “avuncular.” Cronkite, at times referred to as “Uncle Walter,” earned his familiarity from a generation at the helm of the CBS Evening News. The whole uncle thing has been blown way out of proportion. Most people don’t have uncles like Walter Cronkite, but wish that they did. Most uncles are not genteel and erudite, and that is something that they would like to forget.

Mr. Cronkite was a product of another time. His impartial rendering of the day’s events in clear, concise language earned him recognition as the “Most Trusted” man in America. If Cronkite deigned to render an opinion, it was clearly acknowledged as such, with objective support for the conclusion. Cronkite’s detachment was so ubiquitous and notable, that only two occasions are noted for him going outside the boundary over a career that spanned seven decades.

What may not be remembered by most people under 40 will be Cronkite’s unassailable integrity or his spectacular confidence. Unconsumed by ego, he enjoyed a reputation as a fair broker before such argot became commonplace. On occasion, he was noted for playing upon his image with self-deprecating good humor. No modern journalist can achieve that.

Ultimately, Walter Cronkite was the best kind of teacher. He accepted and lived up to the challenge that his role was to bring others in debate up to his level.

Walter Cronkite has gone on assignment for eternity. No one is likely to fill the big chair behind his desk in the foreseeable future.

Sadly, that’s the way it is.

John Hughes (1950-2009)

We move from Walter Cronkite’s empirical truth to another approach which is no less valid. John Hughes was an entertainer whose films chronicled the maturation of a generation. For those born in the mid to late sixties, we saw ourselves for the first time in his films.

Our generation had no moment as a touchstone. There was no Beatles on Ed Sullivan or moon landing, merely the Chicago suburb of Shermer, Illinois. These were young people who spoke our language and became a common experience.

While some of the films may now appear dated in music and fashion, the underlying integrity continues to make them relevant. When we see John Bender’s Dionysian rebel from The Breakfast Club or the Authoritarian Ed Rooney from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, their conflicts and characters are still as recognizable as they would be when the films were released.

On an August morning in Manhattan, the trenchant and timeless observations from John Hughes came to an end. In the theme song from The Breakfast Club, we are implored, “…don’t you…forget about me.” The mirror has been covered, and those of us who recall the eighties in their glorious bouffant excess sit Shiva, but we will not forget the artist who knew our face before we realized we had one.

11 August 2009

The West Wing: President Valverde.

(With Apologies to Aaron Sorkin.)

Scene I: President Quantavius Valverde is in the Oval Office with his Chief of Staff, Ira Rath, having his morning briefing.

PRESIDENT VALVERDE: What kind of messed up stuff has landed on my desk this morning?

IRA RATH: Well, Lobs Doo from Cable Network News is questioning your citizenship.

PV: When did Jersey City leave the union? What are we doing about him?

IR: Knowing Mr. Doo's history with angioplasty and diabetes, we sent him a lovely cheesecake and signed it Rusty Gobler.

PV: (Smiles) There is nothing like the loving fraternity of conservative pundits.

IR: More seriously, Huang Seuk Gu of Upper Hangulia is willing to talk about releasing the female journalists.

PV: The pudgy little paranoid must be out of food again. What does he want?

IR: Legitimacy. Height. An ego stroke, a bigger peenie, he's a needy little freak.

PV: Duly noted, but he's a needy little freak who has a couple of our citizens in prison.

IR: We could send Norton Charles.

PV: The karate guy with the bad toupee from Rider:GBI?

IR: Filming wrapped in Atlanta last week.

PV: It would be appealing if not for the inevitable international incident.

IR: Inevitable?

PV: General Secretary Huang is obsessed with American entertainment and martial arts. Huang and Norton Charles would either hit it off owing to a mutual love of isolationism or they decide to have a physical confrontation and Huang has him shot.

IR: The propaganda value would be high...

PV: But not for us. Next? No more B-movie actors from films about rescuing Americans from Communists. Oh wait...that was humor. Now I get it.

IR: Yessir. Huang has met with former President Earl Miller.

PV: I appreciate Earl's support. I really do. But he's also 85 years old, may be suffering from undiagnosed dementia, and he hasn't crossed paths with a dictator he couldn't love in the last 15 years.

IR: Huang's father.

PV: He does us more good being quiet on his legume farm in Vermont.

IR: What about Vice President Gilbert Blood?

PV: What's he going to do, bore Huang to death? He was the number two man in he most successful administration of the last forty years, and still managed to lose to a borderline retard from Stillwater, Oklahoma.

IR: Well, there was the whole House of Representatives thing...

PV: Humor, I am not always good with. Constitutional law is my specialty. If it had been the Supreme Court, then I would be annoyed. And ever since Blood got that Academy Award, he has been absolutely insufferable.

IR: What about Secretary of State Burlington?

PV: 18 Months ago, Jennifer Burlington would have been my first choice for a mission to Upper Hangulia, preferably on a one-way ticket. Since joining my administration, she has been an effective Secretary of State. If things went badly, I would lose my best diplomat and then have to justify why she was talking to a country we don't officially talk to.

IR: You know, Bob Burlington is available.

PV: (Raises eyebrows, face becomes relieved, then happy.) If I am an American who had just spent the last few months incarcerated in Upper Hangulia, he would be among the first people on my list of who I would be happy to see. I would not question my safety.

IR: They are still females, sir...

PV: He'd no sooner boink them than he would boink his daughter. I would, however, worry about General Secretary Huang's female relatives.

IR: There is one more reason I would be glad to see him.

PV: What's that?

IR: President Burlington never crossed paths with a cheeseburger that he couldn't love. Have you ever seen Hangulian food?

PV: Point taken. I lived down the street from a Hangulian take-out place when I went to Morehouse. What's next on the agenda?

IR: Hose appropriations has its last meeting before the August recess at ten.

PV: Ira, what time does your happy pill wear off?

IR: At about 10:15, Mr. President.

PV: (Smiling) Be there.

Birthright? You Don't Need No Stinking Birthright!

The societal subculture of individuals who insist that President Obama was not born in the United States has gone off the deep end. These people would be quite amusing if they were not serious. The "Birthers" now appear to be running down an arterial thoroughfare wearing nothing but very small minds protected by a set of My Favorite Martian rabbit ears.

Where have you gone Mojo Nixon? (Ans.: Satellite Radio, natch.)

The whole Birther movement is a blessing for pretty much anyone not questioning Obama's birth. there are plenty of good reasons why. The primary reason is that Birthers lose credibility every time their lips move, even when reading. Many overlap with some or all of the most bizarre myths and urban legends of the last ten years.

10: Republicans are the party of smaller government and lower taxes. What do OSHA, the EPA, AMTRAK, and the national 55mph speed limit have in common? All were signed into law by Conservative Republican Richard Nixon. What do the last balanced budget and the return of speed limits to state control have in common? All were signed into law by Liberal Democrat Bill Clinton. Don't even get me started on the expansions of government wrought between George W. Bush and a Republican congress: there aren't enough bytes.

9. Canadian Single Payer health care doesn't work. This is true...in BUFFALO. Aside from a few anecdotes on talk radio from people with suspiciously non-Canadian accents, the majority (54%) characterize their health care as "excellent." Over 33% of the population would consider their health care "good." That leaves less than 13 % to say "fair" or "poor." In the United States there are 16% with "No Opinion" because they don't have any health care.

8. Elvis is alive. This one is the most plausible, but he's now laid off as a result of the Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas going into foreclosure. The last reported sighting was in the dumpster behind a taqueria west of the 15, last Thursday.

7. Right-wing talk hosts speak for their audiences. This is partially true. The audiences they speak for are the advertisers hawking questonable investments, inferior legal services, and talleywhacker pills. The people listening are only paying Limbaugh's 40 million a year second hand.

6. Rasslin' is real. If one considers fitness and choreography, that is real. One certainly would be disinclined to a dark-alley rendezvous with an irate John Cena. But Rasslin' is ballet's poor cousin, living in manufactured housing. It's where gym denizens with poor acting skills can earn a living. Gym denizens who are tolerable actors often move on to become unpopular governors. (Jesse Ventura, Arnold Schwarzenegger.)

5. Republicans have their priorities straight. A suburban Atlanta county has found a million dollars in its budget to prosecute 287(g), the law Joe Arpaio uses to harass latinos in Phoenix. This is while facing a budget shortfall which has pulled 100 front-line public safety personnel off the streets, stressed the county schools to the breaking point, and closed parks and libraries, One hopes that the county commission will be on the unemployment line at the next election, along with the Sheriff.

4. The moon landings were fake. One would think that after 40 years somebody could come up with the contractors and location for the elaborate soundstage necessary, were this credible. One appreciates the challenge of strapping three men to a giant bottle rocket guided by less brain power than a '96 Plymouth Voyager. However, the moon is a pretty big target. Stop messing with astronauts and we won't send Hillary Clinton to get you in a black helicopter.

3. Deregulation is a tool for prosperity. This is true if one is either Goldman, Sachs, Merrill or Lynch. If one owns a home in Vegas, LA, Phoenix or Florida, even if one played by the rules, behaved responsibly, and only bought what was affordable, then they just got the short end of the greatest transfer of wealth in the history of mankind. Much more of this and the queue for the Ambassador Bridge will start in Findlay, Ohio.

2. American Families should be more like the Waltons and less like the Simpsons. Let's see, where would I rather live, an all-white, depression community in Appalachia, or the prosperous Clinton-era Springfield, USA??? D'OH!

1. America was a better place in the fifties. Not really, it was just different. Paranoid drunk Joe McCarthy made a mockery of the constitution. Some communities were denied the full leverage of their franchise. It was great if one was a white conservative protestant, but there wasn't room for some of the more demonstrative iterations of protestantism seen today, either.

Oh, but the music! Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Fats Domino...all denied accomodation in hotels and restaurants nationwide. Apparently they did not have the long form birth certificate to prove to the owner's satisfaction that they indeed were born in the United States.