Obama vs. Special Olympics
Republican National Committee chair Michael Steele expressed his grave displeasure about the quip comparing President Obama's bowling skills to the Special Olympics.
According to Steele "...(we) are a big tent party. While developmental and cognitive disabilities are not prerequisites for membership in the Republican party, those with developmental and cognitive disabilities are welcomed within our numbers. We are proud of our record in helping the mentally impaired, having elected George W. Bush, the first developmentally disabled President of the United States of America.
When asked to elaborate, nationally-syndicated radio host (and noted Hydrocephalic) Sean Hannity responded succinctly, "Urrrrgggghhh!"
Rush Hudson Limbaugh III vs. Human Decency
Joy defined: Rush Limbaugh on the snack aisle of a CVS, with an open OxyContin/Viagra bar. Rush's nickname is "Tiger," not derived from his long game on the links of the Dominican Republic, but from the fact that his little white balls are done with a small hole in four strokes or less.
Charles Grassley vs. AIG
After Senator Grassley (R-IA) suggested that seppuku would be an appropriate demonstration of contrition for bonus-receiving AIG executives, several AIG executives asked the Senator to demonstrate the proper technique.
Dick Cheney vs. Obama
Now, let me see if I get this straight. Dick Cheney is linked to Halliburton, an oil company. He states that President Obama is making the country vulnerable to terrorist attack. If terrorists attack, the price of oil takes off for the moon. Oh, snap, I forgot about lost revenue from no-bid contracts,opposed by the Obama administration. That's why Cheney and his pals are so upset. They would take a pay cut from a killing to a living.
Geithner and Obama vs. AIG
It's not about the bonuses. It's the fact that the new ownership of an enterprise has the right to reset compensation as they see fit. Ask anyone who works/worked for a company that merged, if they're still employed. Republicans only balked when they figured out that legislative leverage may be brought to bear in cases of tax benefits or corporate subsidies, a/k/a corporate welfare.
Sneaky damn Democrats! They almost got Republicans to require that Capitalists use Capitalism!
Bill Maher vs. Ann Coulter
In their male-appendage measuring contest, Mr. Maher lost.
Ms. Coulter is also uncircumcised.
Miami vs. West Palm Beach
Miami and West Palm Beach, two distinct media markets with individual urban centers have been merged into the same metropolitan area. Meanwhile, LA/Ventura/Riverside and San Francisco-Oakland/San Jose are considered to be separate metro areas despite being much more closely linked than Miami and West Palm.
Great, if having overlapping suburbs is a qualifier, let's merge Boston-Providence, Baltimore-Washington, San Antonio-Austin, Tampa-Orlando, and New York-Philadelphia. One is certain that the people in the smaller market will not mind losing their identity and character to the larger. Just ask Fort Worth.
Ann Coulter vs. Meghan McCain
For crying out loud, Ann Coulter has to run around in the shower to get wet. The woman doubles her weight by eating a Quarter-Pounder. In her world Nicole Richie and the anorexic Olsen Twin are buxom. Boobies are something to be envied, pertpetually inaccessible without surgical intervention.
Were a physical confrontation to occur, the well-endowed Miss McCain could swing one breast and knock Coulter into the next solar system. Hopefully, the other breast would send fascist runt Michelle Malkin into the next Galaxy.
My goodness, that last sentence almost works as rhyming slang.
The Wandering Gentile vs. Kim Kardashian's big ol' thick booty and awesome unibrow.
A man can dream, can't he?
Showing posts with label Ann Coulter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ann Coulter. Show all posts
28 March 2009
01 December 2008
Conservative Suicide
If Conservatives were less intent upon attending to other people's business and assuring that they legislated effectively, they would not be scrounging around the Beltway for lobbying jobs today. If Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter had been more cognizant of the situation facing the nation; had Lou Dobbs ever bothered to vet a statistic, then Conservative ideas may have earned broader acceptance in the marketplace.
Conservatives got what they asked for.
One does not wish to discredit conservative punditry's knowledge of it's audience. Among them, discussion of alterations to the Tax Code, Abortion, Immigration Reform, or Gay Rights provokes a visceral, immediate and almost uniform reaction. Regrettably (for them), the Far Right Opinion Machine had either no idea or no reverence for the growing chasm between them and the majority.
The Far Right lost on alterations to the Tax Code. Governor Mike Huckabee, and Representative Ron Paul followed behind the "Fair Tax," a consumption tax scheme designed by Atlanta-based radio host Neal Boortz, and Representative John Linder. The basis of its appeal, the decommissioning of the IRS and the sixteenth amendment, is also its downfall.
While one is disinclined to speaking favorably about the IRS, the IRS also has the unenviable task of enforcing the tax codes of the United States. The Internal Revenue Service is overdue for reform in more aspects than can be enumerated here. But doing away with it and moving to a consumption tax lacking regulation or enforcement mechanisms is a vote for the same lack of oversight that put the nation in dutch in the first place.
One also questions a system which allows government to know exactly what and in what quantities an individual purchases. (Hey! Bob just bought fifteen gallons of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla. Why does he need that?) The current system stinks, but it's better than this alternative.
While questioning President-elect Obama's credentials as a Capitalist, there has been no outcry from Far-Right punditry about the redistribution of wealth from 99% to 1% of the population via current tax policy. One is loath to use a broad term like oligarchist, but what, precisely, is different from the Bolsheviks apart from the transparency of the wealth transfer?
The wealthy have the option of sitting upon their wealth. In the middle classes, a pent up demand exists for liquidity which will purchase cars, homes, durable goods and health care. Call it Trickle Up, a/k/a a rising tide lifts all boats.
The worthy far-right opposition totally lost the abortion debate. The majority is disinclined to reinstating governmental authority over abortion, at times in spite of intense moral opposition to the practice itself. The majority feels that the home is the best place for this discussion, as opposed to public fora. That, and about half of the population is biologically incapable of ever having an abortion in the first place, and would really rather watch football.
In the case of Immigration Reform, four candidates made their opposition a centerpiece of their campaigns. To put it in perspective, in Georgia's Republican primary, the two most vocal opponents to Immigration Reform, Representatives Duncan Hunter and Tom Tancredo, managed to gain 1,076 votes combined.
The author of the Immigration Reform bill despised by Representatives Hunter and Tancredo, Senator John McCain, was a very credible second place with 303,639 votes. Governor Huckabee, who had actually enacted legislation which could be construed as benefitting people who had entered illegally, took first place with 326,069. Call that a 585 to 1 differential against Hunter and Tancredo.
The Far Right Opinion Machine got one small victory in 2008. Proposition 8 failed in California. Judicial resources are going to be tied up for the foreseeable future, and anybody betting on prop 8's survival in the Golden State should be encouraged to send that money via The Wandering Gentile's Commode, P.O. Box Flush-Like-Rush, Atlanta, Georgia, USA.
The Gay activist community may soon discover that they are better served by exacting revenge upon the talismen of conservatism. A few well placed ballot initiatives with regard to additional levies upon SUVs, McMansions, guns, and politically active faith communities in California could be much more effective than protesting in West Hollywood.
There is a country which already has many of the things that the Far Right Opinion Machine embraces already. This crucible should be seen as a oracle for the far right. That country has one of the lowest tax burdens in the world. Nativism has been an obstacle to diversity. The country has a strong relationship with a Conservative Christian community of both clergy and laity. Money is not spent on onerous schools or social programs. The wealthy have authority in all matters, and Mexicans are leaving in droves.
That country is Mexico.
Conservatives got what they asked for.
One does not wish to discredit conservative punditry's knowledge of it's audience. Among them, discussion of alterations to the Tax Code, Abortion, Immigration Reform, or Gay Rights provokes a visceral, immediate and almost uniform reaction. Regrettably (for them), the Far Right Opinion Machine had either no idea or no reverence for the growing chasm between them and the majority.
The Far Right lost on alterations to the Tax Code. Governor Mike Huckabee, and Representative Ron Paul followed behind the "Fair Tax," a consumption tax scheme designed by Atlanta-based radio host Neal Boortz, and Representative John Linder. The basis of its appeal, the decommissioning of the IRS and the sixteenth amendment, is also its downfall.
While one is disinclined to speaking favorably about the IRS, the IRS also has the unenviable task of enforcing the tax codes of the United States. The Internal Revenue Service is overdue for reform in more aspects than can be enumerated here. But doing away with it and moving to a consumption tax lacking regulation or enforcement mechanisms is a vote for the same lack of oversight that put the nation in dutch in the first place.
One also questions a system which allows government to know exactly what and in what quantities an individual purchases. (Hey! Bob just bought fifteen gallons of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla. Why does he need that?) The current system stinks, but it's better than this alternative.
While questioning President-elect Obama's credentials as a Capitalist, there has been no outcry from Far-Right punditry about the redistribution of wealth from 99% to 1% of the population via current tax policy. One is loath to use a broad term like oligarchist, but what, precisely, is different from the Bolsheviks apart from the transparency of the wealth transfer?
The wealthy have the option of sitting upon their wealth. In the middle classes, a pent up demand exists for liquidity which will purchase cars, homes, durable goods and health care. Call it Trickle Up, a/k/a a rising tide lifts all boats.
The worthy far-right opposition totally lost the abortion debate. The majority is disinclined to reinstating governmental authority over abortion, at times in spite of intense moral opposition to the practice itself. The majority feels that the home is the best place for this discussion, as opposed to public fora. That, and about half of the population is biologically incapable of ever having an abortion in the first place, and would really rather watch football.
In the case of Immigration Reform, four candidates made their opposition a centerpiece of their campaigns. To put it in perspective, in Georgia's Republican primary, the two most vocal opponents to Immigration Reform, Representatives Duncan Hunter and Tom Tancredo, managed to gain 1,076 votes combined.
The author of the Immigration Reform bill despised by Representatives Hunter and Tancredo, Senator John McCain, was a very credible second place with 303,639 votes. Governor Huckabee, who had actually enacted legislation which could be construed as benefitting people who had entered illegally, took first place with 326,069. Call that a 585 to 1 differential against Hunter and Tancredo.
The Far Right Opinion Machine got one small victory in 2008. Proposition 8 failed in California. Judicial resources are going to be tied up for the foreseeable future, and anybody betting on prop 8's survival in the Golden State should be encouraged to send that money via The Wandering Gentile's Commode, P.O. Box Flush-Like-Rush, Atlanta, Georgia, USA.
The Gay activist community may soon discover that they are better served by exacting revenge upon the talismen of conservatism. A few well placed ballot initiatives with regard to additional levies upon SUVs, McMansions, guns, and politically active faith communities in California could be much more effective than protesting in West Hollywood.
There is a country which already has many of the things that the Far Right Opinion Machine embraces already. This crucible should be seen as a oracle for the far right. That country has one of the lowest tax burdens in the world. Nativism has been an obstacle to diversity. The country has a strong relationship with a Conservative Christian community of both clergy and laity. Money is not spent on onerous schools or social programs. The wealthy have authority in all matters, and Mexicans are leaving in droves.
That country is Mexico.
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