Driving Through Apocalypse

Ramon Maldonado was dreaming again.

It was the same dream he had most nights.  He was walking  in through the sliding porch door of his apartment outside of Atlanta, carrying a plate full of steaks.  The lights were on.  His baseball Braves nattered, as if by magic, from the television.  His co-driver, stepdaughters, and wife ringed the table, and condensation beaded on a bottle of diet soda.

As Ramon awakened in the sleeper of the Kenworth with Saskatchewan tags, he was closer to the world of...well...he did not really know.

In the space of two weeks, the world had died. His world was gone, at least all that he could be certain of.  An entire generation had joked about the Zombie Apocalypse.  It really was not that damned funny when it actually fucking happened.

The chaos was beyond anything Hollywood could have conceived.  There was no CDC finding a patient zero.  Indeed, there were some indications that ZA had started in Atlanta, and may not have been entirely natural, which probably meant that the CDC and Hartsfield-Jackson had been the first things to go.

If one wanted to use biological warfare, a target whose key epidemiological research facility and largest airport were in the same city could be crippled before they knew what hit them.  That is exactly what happened.  It occurred to Ramon that this had been a pretty bad job of decision making, and might have deserved reconsideration before, say, there had been millions of Zombies.

The week of July 11th had been the worst.  That week, if anyone had still cared enough to keep records, over 280 million people died in the United States alone.  In one week, in one country, a hundred million more people died than had died in all the wars on record.

The sad part was that bites were not always fatal.  Some people, including Ramon, were immune.  He had been bitten half  a dozen times by July 17th.  The worst he got had been a small infection around the second bite, which had worked itself out with some extra Vitamin C.  He now kept a big bottle of Bactine in his pocket, just in case.

Zombies themselves were not half as tough as they had been in the movies.  Yeah, you could shoot one through the head, but they were really only dangerous for a few hours.  Once the brains went necrotic-and they did so quickly-Zombies lost their tracking ability and motor function.  24 hours after the first signs of infection, they were pretty much reduced to rolling on the ground and rotting. They were nonambulatory in 24 hours, and usually died in less than 48 hours.

By now, July 20th, he was a phantom from the old world in one of its technological remnants.  Ramon ditched his company Volvo with empty tanks in a truck stop outside of Rawlins, Wyoming.  He picked up the Kenworth, with its giant cast-iron cattle guard and full tanks of fuel on the fuel island.  The governor had been turned off, and it would do well over 80.

Awake with the dawn, Ramon put the radio on seek.  There would occasionally be blips, mostly carrier signals with no content.  There had not been any content on terrestrial radio in five days.  He drove east on I-70 out of Denver.  For long stretches, 70 was empty.  Occasionally he would see another vehicle moving, but those tended to move hell-bent for leather with drivers either filled with panic or deprived of experience.

Twice, now, Ramon had found cars that had passed him piled into an obstacle that should have been anticipated.  He was getting accustomed to slowing for pile-ups, and backing out of the bobtail KW's deep long-pedal before blind curves.  He had pushed probably two dozen cars out of the way on I-25 before taking the toll beltway around Denver, gleefully giving a single-finger salute to the dead electronic toll registers.

Creatures of habit, people were not getting on the toll road that could not charge them.

The cell-phone network had gone down when Ramon was in Seattle.  The phone itself sat on the dash, clock still on Pacific Time as he closed in on Wichita.  His wife peered out from the screen, in a photo whose perspective doubled an already ample bust.

The toll plaza was clear.  In fact, Ramon felt a little guilty as he bent the arm designed to tell drivers to STOP already, dammit, at a smooth 35.  He planned to stop for the night in Oklahoma City, where he would figure out how to get fuel for this posh Kennywhopper.

He was not planning to go back to Atlanta.  That much was certain.  As he was on his way to Seattle, his youngest stepdaughter had called.  Her sister had bitten her mother, who had bitten her.

Marilys was all of 12 and told Ramon through tears, "I don't want you to see us like this. Amber and Mami are already done. Remember us as people, not like this."

"I want to do something, Mare."

"You did.  You treated us like queens when it counted. Please. I am going to put them in the van and take them out of here.  You will never find us."

Ramon guessed where they would go. To ignore Marilys' only wish would not have been in his personality, though.

So he pressed south.

OKLAHOMA CITY

Feeding the Kenworth's twin 150 gallon tanks took the better part of a day.  Ramon was filthy and forced to bathe with baby wipes.  As the sun went down, he noticed something about the truck stop.

The lights were on.  The motherfucking lights were ON!!

He walked through the door and was greeted with a blast of foul-smelling but conditioned air.  Everybody in here was dead and reeking, but the lights were on.  There was a wind farm west of Okie City which sent juice and it was working!

Ramon Maldonado walked over to the water tap and turned it.  After some knocking and wheezing, a glurt of rusty water blew through the nozzle...turning to clear tepid water in a few seconds.

"Hot shit! Water!" He exclaimed in a tone that would have been reserved for finding that his genitalia had doubled in size.

He went over the counter and saw how to unlock the shower door.  "Wait a minute..."  He grabbed a tee shirt and clothes in his size from the shelf, antiperspirant, soap, a razor, toothpaste and a toothbrush, even a pair of electric clippers which would put the military-spec haircut he had worn for 25 years since he was a seaman in the Texas Navy back to a rough approximation of four-oh.

Ramon was showered and shaved.  The clothes made him look a little too much like an Oklahoman for his Texas sensibilities, but hell, he felt HUMAN!

Coming out of the shower, Ramon liberated a Television and half a dozen DVDs.

It was warm inside the truck, but the generator pack had kept it from turning into an oven.  It was now full dark in Oklahoma.  Before setting up the Dashboard Drive-in that he always used to joke about with Chuy, his co-driver...Chuy who had bitten his arm and given him a mild case of septicemia but failed to turn him into a Zombie, Ramon turned on the radio.

530 on the AM band played a clear signal in Spanish.  It ticked.  A voice proclaimed the basic tenets of communism.  He was tuned to Radio Reloj, Havana.  When Ramon looked at his cell phone, it had switched to Central Time.  He had 3 bars of signal and no one to call.

He tried it just to see what the thing would do.  The internet screen came up before going to some sort of error code.  It dialed, but all of the US numbers gave one of the familiar screw you, this number is dead messages.

Ramon decided to try his son's number in Mexico.  He walked in, liberated a phone card, and dialled, not knowing if the relay which had an Okie City number would work, or not.

He dialed 1-405 and the local number.  It burred and sounded like the telephone had been sent back in time by about seventy years.

"The number you have reached...405..."

"Shit!" Ramon said as he pressed the END button.

Ramon hit the seek button on the radio again.  A news sounder...not an American network or BBC...indicated that what was on was important.

"Esto es un boletin de Radio Oro, Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, con cobertura del crisis de los Zombies en los Estados Unidos."

Ramon spoke Spanish well enough, but his language was Tex-Mex.  He was cursing mildly, when the announcer switched to English.  "Radio Oro invites those who speak English to join our broadcast at 780 kilohertz on the AM dial."  The announcer sounded like he could have come from Los Angeles.

He switched to the English broadcast.

"This is Manuel Velez reporting from Reynosa, Tamaulipas. The worldwide humanitarian crisis in the has now entered its second week.  Estimates suggest near total mortality in the United States, Asia, and Europe. The government of Mexico is working with some of the remaining governments and survivors to rebuild communications with the most deeply affected areas.

"There are now over 40 million dead in Mexico, with close to fifty percent mortality in most of Latin America.  We have not been able to communicate with Africa or Oceania for five days.

"The US Border has been quarantined.  Once the Mexican ministry of health makes a final determination that those seeking assistance in Mexico are immune to the disease which has devastated most of the world, we will be accepting survivors.  Until that time, persons attempting to enter Mexico will be exterminated.

"We will be listening on amateur radio frequencies at 52.000 megahertz and 144.000 megahertz."

Ramon returned to the truck stop.  There were ham radios in the display.  He wasn't an electronic wizard, but he knew how to to two things...wire it up and turn it on, with enough power to reach the 800 miles or so to Mexico.

It was a bit of painstaking work.  CB shops knew how to peak and tune these devices.  Ramon did not.  He considered that it was entirely possible that he might blow himself up.

It worked. He dialed in the first frequency that Radio Oro had proffered.

"Calling Mexico.  Calling Mexico. Can anyone hear me?"

Nothing.

"This is Ramon Maldonado in Oklahoma City calling Mexico.  Can anyone hear me?"

Still nothing.

"Hello, Mexico, this is Ramon Maldonado in Oklahoma City..." and before he could ask if anyone could hear him, he realized that he should take his thumb off the microphone button.

"You have reached the Crisis Management Centre in Monterrey, Nuevo Leon. I am Adriana Asturias."

Two weeks had passed since the first victims in Atlanta. It had been five days since he had actually spoken to a human being whose brain still worked as it was intended to.  The magnitude of what had happened hit him hard, a speeding rig with smoking brakes ramming a Volkswagen. Tears began to roll.

"I have not seen anyone else alive in three days.  Can you please call my son in Saltillo?"

"We can try. Please try to get hold of yourself. What is the number?"

Ramon recited the Saltillo number from memory.

The phone rang. And rang.  And rang some more.  And an answering machine came on. Rafael's deep voice came over  Ramon's radio. "You have reached..." began the message in Spanish.

At the tone, Ramon began to babble incoherently over the radio, crying and almost hysterical.

There was a clatter on the other end of the line, and Ramon feared that the connection and hope of not being alone in the world was gone.

When Rafael's deep voice cut into the Oklahoma night, "Papa?" 

The Wandering Gentile, January 1967

 

A Little Atlanta Nostalgia

For those of you who did not grow up in Atlanta in the eighties, please bear with a middle-aged man's ramblings about a time long gone.

For those of you who did, well, let's go home.

YOU KNOW YOU GREW UP IN 1980s ATLANTA WHEN:


There will never be a greater movie theater than the dollar movie at Toco Hills.

If Gordon Soley is not doing the interviews, it is not real wrestling.

You know why Ross and Wilson were fired from Z-93.

A member of your family has disappeared and it is entirely possible that they were paved over during the "Freeing the Freeways" project.

You remember that occasionally, channel 36 would show uncut films.

You have seen a Burt Reynolds movie being filmed downtown.

You know about the secret screen at the Lenox Square movie theater which is actually smaller than your television today.

Explaining to friends from up north that Krystals and White Castles are not the same thing is second nature.

You have seen a Braves game on television where they had more people on the field than in the stands.

You have been furious because you wanted to read Grizzard and the only paper left was a Journal.


You remember when there were 7-Elevens, Majik Markets, and Tennecos.

The word Camaro instantly conjures the image of a Rebel flag bandanna tied around a rear view mirror which now resides on top of the dashboard.

It does not matter where you have been, the longest drive on Earth is Interstate 16 to Savannah.  Particularly if you have to pee.

The words "New Midfield Terminal" have significance.

You remember English being spoken on Buford Highway.

A friend from California was overjoyed to discover that we had Del Taco...and you liked them better than Taco Bell, anyway.

Buying a car that already had a new tag sticker meant you had until next April to get insurance and put it in your name.

You took a train with friends from out of town to show it off, not because it actually went anywhere you wanted to go...yet.

Going to Chattanooga to get porn was actually necessary.

You remember staying up until midnight to watch Dave Allen at Large on channel 11.

The words "...enough carpet to cover Cleveland. Completely!" instantly bring back a Pythonian image of the Statue of Liberty stating "Thank Goodness!"

Your friends from Cleveland failed to see the humor in the Statue of Liberty's gratitude over enough carpet to cover Cleveland.  Completely.

Wes and Monica are on channel 2 Action News.  Forrest and Pam are on channel 5 Eyewitness News.  CNN's next hires are on 11 Alive Newsroom.

A socially inept classmate was still a member of the channel 46 Goodtime Gang.


You remember the Purple Cow and at least one of your classmates being mortified by a personal message contained within.

You have never played the dozens.  But you have damn sure jawned somebody good.

Shopping for a car meant going to Starvin' Marvin's on a Tuesday for the Auto Trader, Wednesday for Tradin' Times, and  Thursday for the Atlanta Advertiser.


A long Friday night at the midnight movies ends by sobering up at the Waffle House, stepping out into the humidity, and asking, "Where the hell am I.  And what the hell did I do with my car?"

Over? No, Not Just Yet!

As the current Republican primary season drags to its grinding end with a mediocre candidate, Democrats have been gifted with another opportunity from Republican incompetence.

To wit, there is plenty of time to put both houses of Congress into play.

It would have been fun to watch Santorum and Romney play their childish genital-metric competition to see which one could be more vicious to women, minorities, and anyone else they preferred to see voiceless.  But while this is fun to see how badly one can destroy the other, neither is likely to become sympathetic between now and November.

However, Democrats are now in a position to begin running the table.

Republicans, in a fit of pique over the first President who was not completely white, played upon the basest bigotries of white voters and managed to elect an extreme House of Representatives in 2010.  This was a House which has managed to accomplish next to nothing in the 15 months since their inauguration.

Not only did they fail to turn back any legislation from President Obama's agenda during the first two years, they have also failed to propose any new alternatives from their own agenda in the same time span.  It is as if someone were hired to clean and restore a dwelling, and decided that the fastest, most effective method of accomplishing that end were by setting that dwelling ablaze.

A convicted arsonist would likely be able to relate, the fire is a LOT of fun, but Fire Investigators can be so blamed fussy.

There is a not-unjustified call of "a pox upon both of their houses," from moderates and the sincerely apolitical.  This call has its root in the propaganda of the right, which is heavily invested in maintaining the illusion that both sides are equally culpable in the betrayal of the majority of American citizens.
 
Should the Democratic campaign committee choose, an opportunity exists in the next few months to destroy the Republican Party's congressional aspirations, too. One hopes to show some possible examples of advertising which could work well.

Commercial 1: "I believe that using government to install the most restrictive principles of my faith is more important than improving the economy and creating jobs."

Commercial 2: "I believe in smaller, less intrusive Government.  Which is why I believe that they have no right to mandate birth control, but they have a right to obligate a woman to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound."

Commercial 3: A montage of signs with ever-climbing fuel prices topping 5 or 6 dollars a gallon.  Dark, minor chord piano follows the montage as we are taken to a senior citizen under a blanket in a dark home. There is a can of pet food with a spoon sticking out of it, and the senior citizen coughs as the viewer is taken to a boardroom with the words "Big Oil" on the wall.
"So, what are you going to do with your part of the subsidy?" One executive asks another.


"I'm going to contribute to (Republican Congressman) John Smith!  He made sure that we, the job creators, kept that money instead of giving it to people who are doing nothing for the economy."


And so on...

Should the Democratic Party get serious about not only winning the White House but both houses of Congress, it will likely take but a mild examination of the actual priorities of the Republican Party and a small dash of sarcasm to do so.  Because everyone knows that they can dish it out, but they can't take it.

A Wandering Gentile Vlog!

http://youtu.be/yhLa104HRso

Let's try this again.

June 20 video update!

http://youtu.be/H32uGah63S4

He's back...he's vlogging...and he's worldwide!  Gil Gillon skewers the headlines.

Obama calls Pakistan!

A dramatic recreation of the call to Pakistani military command about the operation to remove Osama bin Laden.  Many thanks to Hijastra (la menor) for her flawless camera work.

http://youtu.be/WMCYU7L1OVU

Debate Impressions

If one has a Republican friend or acquaintance, be nice and don't make many loud noises this morning.  Last night's debacle in New Hampshire was enough to provoke the most committed, teetotaling Republican to down a fifth of Jim Beam, straight and hot.

Let's get the candidates who have absolutely no chance off the table first.  They may be around for the next seven months or so, but once the buses leave South Carolina, they will be gone.

Herman Cain is a condescending jerk who has a bunch of ideas, and absolutely no idea how to make them work in the context of Government.  His skill set requires the absolute authority of a business executive, not a contentious Congress.  Cain is one bad interview from gone.  He's smug, arrogant, and the wrong color to get any traction with the full Republican electorate.

Ron Paul is a great cult figure, but that is exactly what he will remain.  His greatest obstacle is that he speaks the language of his cult.  The rest of us are sitting there listening to the theme from The Twilight Zone going through our heads.  He's not going away, but he is unlikely to connect with more than the ten to fifteen percent of the Republican Party that he already holds. 

Rick Santorum has one major problem which will not go away: he was thrown out by the voters in purple Pennsylvania.  The Keystone State leans slightly blue, but you would be hard pressed to know it because they will pick some of the most conservative candidates known to God or man.  If Santorum could not hold Pennsylvania, how in the world does he expect to hold Ohio or Florida?  He should run out of money before long.

Tim Pawlenty has more than one issue which will not go away.  He has a competitor from his home state in Michelle Bachmann.  He looks enough like Rick Santorum that their respective wives could view the photograph and ask, "What's wrong with this photo of my husband?"  By screwing with Romney, he has tinkled in the Rotarian Republicans' corn flakes.  And he is almighty dull.  He might last until Super Tuesday as the non-Mormon version of Romney.

The scariest moment your Wandering Gentile had while watching the debate was looking at Newt Gingrich and thinking, good Lord, he's the best one up there.  His answers were comparatively clear and articulate.  He showed a sense of having an idea of how to do things.  Hell, Gingrich was Clinton's tough old adversary, and almost worthy of nostalgia.

Newt Gingrich also sounds like a capon being strangled, and Romney does competent equally well.

Mitt Romney looked better.  He was clear, concise, articulate, and he is blessed with one of the better speaking voices in a party filled with men who sound as if they are waiting for puberty.  He is a little bit less dull than Pawlenty, who remains his closest competitor on the issues.  He was the best communicator on the stage on 13 June.

Michelle Bachmann was the other candidate who mattered. With her unofficial declaration as a candidate, she slapped the elephant in the room in the tusks. The elephant in the room is Sarah Palin. 

Palin will be the shadow over any candidate on the stage until she formally declares her decision.  Her name recognition exceeds that of Mitt Romney.  Palin has a national apparatus in place waiting for her to jump in, and by avoiding the early debates, she is finally listening to the wisest advice she could get: Better to be silent and considered to be a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

The last thing Sarah Palin needs right now is a lucky punch from a second tier candidate that lays her candidacy on the ground.  The only ones who could get that in might be Gingrich or Santorum.  In spite of their being insufferable, the two of them are also much smarter than Governor Palin.  Santorum and his ideological twin Bachmann have the most to gain by the absence of Palin.  They are similarly paleoconservative in philosophy, and Bachmann has an outside chance of winning the nomination compared to Romney.

What one should watch for in the short term of this most off of off-years follows.

There will be attrition in the very near term of candidates with little or no traction.  Cain, Gingrich, and Santorum do not appear to have very strong campaigns and may not make it to Iowa.  The heat and light Pawlenty needs to grow in Minnesota will be consumed by Michelle Bachmann competing for much of the same supporters.

Ron Paul's supporters will be a spoiler, and will likely go to ABR, i.e., anyone but Romney.

If Michelle Bachmann gains traction over the next three months, she will serve as Palin's surrogate.  That is all Michelle Bachmann will ever be.  She lacks adequate name recognition, and she is unlikely to build a national base beyond those who would have written Palin in, anyway.

Look for Palin to get in late, possibly as late as December 1.  This keeps her out of debates where she has always done poorly, but leaves her viable in the Iowa caucuses.  Michelle Bachmann holds the enthusiasm of Iowa congressman Steve King, which puts Tim Pawlenty at a huge disadvantage.

Mitt Romney will continue as the moderate alternative to Bachmann Palin overdrive.  The fatal error that Romney's campaign will make is that he will continue to run to the right.  Romney's problem is that he is not credible as a paleoconservative, not if he had a successful career achieving statewide office in Massachusetts.  Indeed, the waning support for the tea parties indicates that he would have a chance as a moderate in the general election.

However, in order to get to the general election, one must cater to the party's base.  And that base will prefer someone with a better set of credentials as a Conservative, be it Bachmann, or more likely, Palin.  Mitt Romney would be well served by campaigning for the Vice-Presidency, because Governor Palin has a history of not bearing up well under scrutiny from the national press.

The future of the Republican Party will be dependent upon the strength of bringing moderates into the fold. 

It shall be seen if they remain to do so in 2016. 

The Wandering Gentile: A Vlog post!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByJr-1LW6XY&sns=fbe Wandering Gentile: A Vlog post!

Is Palin Running?

Of course Sarah Palin is running for President.

For all of Palin's vast inadequacies, she does one thing with exceptional competence: campaign.  Please do not confuse this with actual capability, intelligence, or the capacity to guide even the smallest jurisdiction in a direction which will lead to prosperity or providence.  She runs because she has been running for the last 30 years.

A marathon runner has the physical fitness to be the Center of a soccer team.  That runner may not have the ball-handling skills that a pudgy, chain-smoking roofer from Tegucigalpa has, though.  Endurance and speed may bring the opportunity for more goals, but without someone with ball-handling skill, all it means is a lot of running around on one end of the field.  Not a lot of goals will be scored.

It is time to watch Palin the marathonner.  In this realm, she shines.  Politics requires endurance.  If one tires out the opposition, one can cruise right up to the goal and tap the ball in.

Endurance is one tactic which works a majority of the time.  It does not work on the greats, because they have endurance too.  Thousands of Soccer players fell trying to wear Pele out, and just when it looked as if Pele were finished, he bicycled the ball into the goal.

Barack Obama is the Pele of American Presidential Politics, maybe with a little bit of Beckham's curving kick to go along for good measure. 

In other words, Obama puts points on the scoreboard. 

Mrs. Palin is running, and she's looking for the Republican nomination.  The one person who will be most drastically affected by this is Mitt Romney, because he will be the frontrunner until maybe ten seconds after Palin officially announces.  Michelle Bachmann will be annoyed, but she is not going to do much besides pout.  Herman Cain will be a bit fussy, but frankly, he's the wrong color to ever pull more than 15% of the Republican electorate. 

The announcement will be later than sooner.  This is the slowest period in American politics, and Palin is an adept campaigner.  The time will be used to shore up the huge negatives Palin has with independents and moderates, and give a strong look at which of the lackluster candidates for the nomination as to who would make the best Vice-Presidential nominee.

Palin's short list should include, but not be limited to anyone already declared.  A guess says that she may pick a running mate from a traditionally Democratic state-Chris Christie, Paul LePage, and Michelle Bachmann would add regional strength without losing appeal to her base in the deep south.

It will be asked if Palin can win the nomination.  That question is akin to asking if the sun will rise tomorrow. 

Palin, for her lack of goodwill among moderates and independents, is still considered to be "accomplished" by the base of the Republican Party.  One other factor is not popping up that may well prove to be the Republicans' downfall in 2012.

It does not appear that the Democrats will present a serious primary challenge to President Obama next year.   That leverages a number of primary voters which might be caught in an internecine debate about the direction of the Democratic Party to pursue a challenge which would make for a compelling contrast of ideas and realizations.

No Soccer fan wants to watch meaningless contest.  But people who care little for the sport might enjoy a championship match involving the rivalry (think Red Sox and Yankees with violence) between Manchester United and Liverpool.

Democrats have the chance to bring up the most despised rival in Sarah Palin if she is on the ballot.

Republicans have more to lose in the near future from a Palin candidacy than gain.  Palin's endorsement, along with identity as part of the Tea Party, managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in at least half a dozen mid-term contests last year.  The paleoconservatism of the quasipopulist Tea Party movement found little traction outside of the deep south. 

More moderate populations are expressing a deep buyers remorse for movement candidates like Rick Scott, John Kasich, and Scott Walker.  A Palin candidacy has the chance to make those contrasts much clearer.

In the long run, Republicans would be better served with a Palin candidacy now as part of a long-term restructuring to bring the party closer to the middle where elections are won and lost.  It is territory where Democrats dwelled for the period from late 1979 to the middle of 1992.  Without some sort of outreach to the middle, the Republican Party is doomed by demographics as well as policy.

The age and ethnicity of the current Republican voter is well over 40 and overwhelmingly white.  Educational attainment is also inferior to that of those preferring Democrats.  Income levels and net worth are metrics leading to a conclusion that the Republican party as we know it will not survive much past 2020, if at all.

Republican leadership knows this.  This is why a Palin candidacy for the nomination will succeed.  An explicit show of support empowers the ability to jettison the component which provides little value to continued success.  There is no longer an ability to survive on smaller pieces of pie.  They now have to make more pie.

And the fastest way to do that will be to get Sarah Palin away from the oven.

The New Calendar Arrives

If the Obama administration were a baseball game, taking Osama bin Laden out is a fifteen-run fourth inning in a game he was winning 7-3.  Make that 22-3 now. 

In one weekend, the instant replay showed that the ball hooked fair around the Pesky pole (ask a Red Sox fan about this particular obstacle at Fenway Park), by dragging out the original birth certificate signed by his mother's OB in Honolulu.  Then within hours, the Internet lit up like a Bush Family midnight visit to Baghdad. Osama, the infernal boogeyman of the last twenty years, was dead.

There are those who will argue that eliminating bin Laden may not have been legal.  A description of that particular mindset contains language which is not appropriate here.

When one commits an act of war upon a nation, confesses, and declares oneself to be the accountable party of the body committing the act of war, one becomes an enemy combatant.  That is cut and dried.  Whether or not the culpable party has the official backing of a nation-state or functions as a privateer is not relevant.

The tacit approval of several countries with Islamic majorities is apparent-particularly Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and the former Taliban Regime in Afghanistan.  The implied, as opposed to express support saves a major city in any of those countries from becoming a parking lot. The fact that bin Laden was in Pakistan was troubling due to the fact that Pakistan is a nuclear power.

Remember the old Bush-era spectre of our only warning being a mushroom cloud over a major city?  Pakistan has the tools to make that happen.  Osama bin Laden was not hiding from the Pakistanis.

Indeed, it is pretty evident that the compound was out of the ordinary and the locals knew something was up.  There was somebody high enough up in the Pakistani command apparatus to make sure he stayed off the radar.  It is not entirely unbelieveable that someone with that kind of clout has access to tools and codes, the kind which make mass murder a one-stop affair.

Sometimes it is as simple as "it was him or us."  Bin Laden wasn't remarkably original in his target selection, which leads to the conclusion that New York and Washington were, if not the two leading targets, in the top three. 

The Obama Administration, in two and a half years of being a little less heinous in their practices compared to the Bush Administration, managed to neutralize Osama bin Laden without the use of "extraordinary rendition."  The euphemism is still offensive.

For the cost of a 24-man Seal Team, one Black Hawk stealth helicopter, and retraining one clumsy whirlybird pilot, they got Osama. All told, a bit over 60 million dollars, including ruined hardware. That is still real money, but a whole lot less real than three trillion dollars, 5000 servicepeople dead, seven-and-a-half YEARS without neutralizing the original objective, and the nation's reputation as a fair broker stuffed down a commode.

It was, mathematically speaking, like replacing an ugly $50,000 car that sits inoperable in the driveway and periodically eats a young family member, with a brand new sportscar which was purchased for ten cents, gets to the desired destination...and 38 miles per gallon.

This puts the national security aspect into dollars and cents-mostly cents.  Twenty cents a person is what the mission cost, belying the costs of the security mechanisms built under the George W. Bush administration.  The plot wasn't even new-it merely lacked Chuck Norris or Charles Bronson and Martin Balsam as the designated Jew from being culled from a Golan-Globus film of the mid-eighties.  (Which one? ALL OF THEM.)

Afghanistan  has returned to comparitive irrelevance.  Pakistan has proved to be an unreliable partner.  Iraq is as progressive friends advised nine years ago, superfluous and should not have been our problem.  The Southern border with Mexico was much less vulnerable than the comparably porous Northern border with Canada, which has a fairly open immigration policy with Pakistan.

In other words, every "Security" Republican's credibility has been effectively destroyed.  There is no unnecessarily elaborate Dr. Evil/Bond Villain death involved, no monologue, just the Osama cocktail, two shots and a splash of water.

There is a sentiment among a part of both the progressive and conservative communities alike that bin Laden should have been tried.  It is fair to characterize this viewpoint as an outlier.  There is no necessity in putting the people of New York, Washington, London, Madrid, or even The Hague through reliving the horrors of Osama's confessed crimes.  Nor is there a particularly compelling reason to make any of those cities a target for bin Laden's associates.  If he wanted a trial, bin Laden had ten years to surrender.

The incontrovertible truth is that Osama bin Laden was an armed, dangerous fugitive who had ample opportunity to solicit a fair hearing and supply his followers with a litany of propaganda.  He did not choose that route.

The Pakistanis will bear watching, but for now the intelligence gathered from bin Laden's computer files should prove to be very fruitful for American and allied intelligence services.  There could be up to a terabyte of plans and contact information.  All of bin Laden's now-known accomplices should be watching over their shoulders.

They will not anticipate when the visit comes from the CIA, MI6, or the Mossad.  These are not nice people, and they do not have nice tasks, but they are also a sad necessity of last resort.

As for those who prospered from bin Laden's continued existence, there is a huge vacuum where the monster, the destroyer lived.  These are people who profit from fear and loathing of the other.  A large component of those belong to the Republican Party in the United States.

Already, two viable candidates for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination have decided against entering the field.  One of them is Mike Huckabee, which should be sufficient to provoke jubilation in the Obama camp.  The other, Donald Trump, is a polarizing figure who would have done more to destroy the Republican party than promote it.  That job will now go to Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann.

Budget and security policy likewise inhabit a changed territory.  When the argument existed that legislative activity contributed significantly to the well-being of the nation and its citizens, it was not possible to prove a negative...nor is it ever.  In a landscape where effectiveness can be measured against a result, it becomes imperative that the whole shebang (a technical term) goes back on the table to see what can be disposed of.

This will require a Republican of stature serving in a weak district to happen before 2013.  Should no agreement be found, the death of Osama bin Laden may prove to be what fragments the Republican-Libertarian coalition in American politics.  It exists as a point of the deficit being unmanageable without an identifiable symbol at which resources may be directed. 

In other words, the Democratic Party has the opportunity to say "We are the party which wants to leave you alone and stop costing you money," to the vast majority of Americans.  They now have the leverage to show how that will be accomplished, and the credibility of action and results.

Oh, how one yearns to use the Anglo-Saxon vulgarity which is applicable to the condition of al Qaeda and the Republican party alike.

The Parable of Republican Fiscal Responsibility

A Republican goes on vacation.  A thousand miles from home he decides he wants a bacon sandwich.

So the Republican spends thirty dollars renting a car.  He spends an hour of time and and three gallons of gas searching for a supermarket.  At the supermarket he spends ten dollars on bacon, mayonnaise and bread. 

The Republican makes a huge mess in the hotel microwave for the maid to clean up.  She will not be tipped because the Republican presumes her to be illegal, despite the fact that she is blond, 6'6" tall, and named for her legal immigrant grandmother, Inga.

The Republican realizes that he has no method for taking care of the bacon and the mayonnaise, so he drives out to the truck stop and buys a portable cooler for a hundred dollars.

After the end of his three day visit, The Republican has a cooler he cannot take on the flight back, filled with food which, while not spoiled, is more than he requires.

Giving the surplus food to people who haven't got enough to eat goes against The Republican's work ethic, so he sticks it in the commercial waste-collection dumpster at the hotel.  The cooler, likewise, is not something which can be allowed into other hands, for fear that it may be repurposed for some nefarious end.

So the Republican stands at the airport, proud and pleased that the sandwich itself only cost two dollars.  But he wasted $158 to make that two dollar sandwich.

A Democrat is on vacation. A thousand miles from home, he decides he wants a bacon sandwich.  The Democrat walks to a nearby restaurant and asks for a bacon sandwich.  When he is done eating, he gives the waitress about seven dollars, including tip. 

The Republican shakes his head in amazement at how wasteful the Democrat is, when the Democrat could have done the job himself.

When Peace Broke Out

For those who are over, say, 40, this is not a new story.

We sat in front of our analog televisions and watched crappy little Trabants stream through the Brandenburg Gate.  The composite bodies were the same colors that one finds in a nursery, and the masonry wall which had served to protect communism could no longer contain the smoke from the Trabant's little two-stroke engine.

The first protests had been in June, in China of all places.  For nearly two months, protesters called for democracy and liberty.  They built an homage to the Statue of Liberty on Tiananmen Square in Beijing.  Their call was one for human dignity and civil rights. 

And on 4 June, 1989, they were crushed. The organizers were carried off to secret prisons and the protesters were dispersed by tanks and arms fire.  It seemed that the hope of democracy was destroyed on that day.

But it wasn't.  By the end of October, peaceful civil protests were rampaging throughout the Communist bloc. But Berlin holds a special place.

Two years earlier, President Ronald Reagan had exhorted Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev, "Tear down this wall!"  It was seen as daring and indecorous, a challenge which was full of the bravado of a victor in battle without a shot being fired.

And on 9 November, 1989, we turned on our televisions and saw a joyously unthinkable event. Germans wielding picks and sledgehammers were bashing the Berlin Wall to smithereens!  They were having a huge party tearing it down.  Mikhail Gorbachev and Ronald Reagan were nowhere to be found.

It is this memory which informs a guarded optimism.  In the last month, we have watched autocrats in Tunisia and Egypt deposed by popular uprisings.  These are not the uprisings of turbanned fanatics with an extreme interpretation of Islam.

These are young people who use cell phones and the internet.  They are not bent upon retribution for the misdeeds of the autocrats beyond their departure. Aside from their newfound technical prowess, they look like their antecedents in Beijing and Berlin in 1989.

This is beyond huge.  The illusion of universal fanatacism in Muslim countries has now been shattered, although one may still appropriately question as to a Wahabbist connection to fanatical movements. In Cairo, you saw young men who had awful jobs and went to their Friday prayers and behaving peacefully.

If one were to turn on the television, one would see their  Farsi-speaking counterparts in Teheran on the morning of 15 February. Other reports invoke the nations of Yemen, Bahrain, Algeria, Jordan and Syria.  There are no Imams proclaiming fatwas-just people demanding accountability from their leadership.

As it happens when peace breaks out, authoritarians are threatened, but there is no room for their voices.  On the deserts of Northern Africa and Southwestern Asia a new thing as old as the sun has broken free-the desire of people to have choices and liberty to decide what is best for the future.

In fifteen or twenty years, should someone walking into a Saipa dealership in New York or Toronto be curious about the little car built in Iran and ask, they will be reminded of this moment. They will see images of happy Saipa owners driving their cars down the Neda Agha Soltan Expressway in the brochures.

Perhaps there will be old men who remember the day when Iran was a place that terrified them.  They will recall three wars fought to do something which was accomplished with plastic keyboards instead of bullets and bombs.  They will recall the names of places like Fallujah and Kandahar.

While things could still go badly wrong, please remember this: nothing impedes the undesirable like daring to imagine the best possible outcome.  This is the motivation behind higher education and Mega-ball lottery tickets alike.  As of today, positive outcomes have become possible.

This possibility is the greatest gift that the Middle East could have gotten.

State of the Union

It was President Obama versus 298 Republicans in both houses Tuesday night. And that looked unfair to the Republicans.

State of the Union addresses have been fun in recent memory. Watching Clinton was easy, because of the theater. “Yeah, you Republican interns. You see this economy? I’m get-ting cre-dit for-it…nanny nanny boo boo!”

For the first twenty minutes of the 2011 State of the Union, it looked like Obama was wayyy off his game. He was generic, competent, and, well, kinda boring. Some of us know that there will be a moment when President Obama has a bad speech. It seemed like this one was going to be it.

This speech was not it.

For those of us who have watched Obama work a room, there are few who can touch him for technique. The New Civility seating arrangement really worked to the President’s advantage. It worked so well, that one wonders if he didn’t consider proposing a tax on Baptist bookstores just to see how many Republicans he could get to clap for it.

For crying out loud, Boehner was clapping for things which will get him a new orifice for excretory function from Fox News. To his credit, Boehner must have gotten hold of a terrific mood elevator, because he only misted up once. But he appeared to be either hammered or lost, like a kid who arrives to take the SAT and realizes about two questions in that there is no way in hell that he’s bluffing his way through this test.

Barack Obama did not have that problem. When he hit the message about 80% clean energy by 2035, he pitched it like a Republican. For twenty years, Democrats have been selling the environment to liberals.

Ask Al Gore how well that works when running for President, sometime. The environment is Crack Cocaine for liberals. It makes the left stupid and willing to do anything for more of it. President Obama took the left to Rehab.

Elections are not won by selling the environment to liberals any more than they are won selling guns to conservatives. Elections are won by making sense to the middle. President Obama started doing something extremely astute by playing to the center.

Invoking the space program, the President’s rhetoric touched on the value of clean energy for defense, education and jobs. In an economy which by circumstance has become much more global than a lot of people would like, the point of grabbing the future from our economic rivals is cogent. The reality that policies embraced by his Republican opposition have put resources in such a place as to place the nation at a competitive disadvantage can, and will make sense to independents and moderates.

There was not a hint of environmentalism to Obama’s treatment of clean energy as a generator of security for the nation, except as a favorable byproduct. That is something the middle has not really heard before.

The Republican Party approached this State of the Union with one of the worst game strategies that they have ever used. They set everything off with a block from their right and sealing all of the routes up the left. That might work on Dennis Kucinich, or Bernie Sanders. If this were football, they would have watched some game film to know that Obama likes to run up the middle.

The Republican Party is also facing a resurgent Obama at a time when their party is in disarray. There is little room for multiple and sometimes differing messages. A divided party will cave in upon itself. It happened two years ago when Sarah Palin wound up on the ticket, becoming the de facto head. It also happened last night.

In the official Republican rebuttal, it became clear, instantly, that the speech was prepared well in advance of Obama’s speech. What was also evident was that whoever prepared the speech had zero grasp of the President’s articulation or capacity. And Representative Paul Ryan, like Charles Boustany and Bobby Jindal before him, was spectacularly ill equipped to compete with President Obama’s polished rhetorical skills.

It did not help that Representative Ileana Ros-Lehtinen offered the same inadequate speech in Spanish on Univision, albeit with a much stronger rhetorical capacity. Representative Ryan resembled little so much as Topher Grace portraying an adult Eddie Munster.

Representative Michelle “Guano” Bachmann offered a rebuttal for the ever-shrinking ranks of the Tea Party. For a group of people who kvetch incessantly about Obama using a TelePrompTer, you would think that they could mount the blamed thing in the same area code as the camera. Apparently, Rep. Bachmann was sitting in DC, and the TelePrompTer was somewhere on top of the Springfield Interchange in Virginia.

Republicans could scarcely have done worse by letting Sarah Palin ad-lib, and Huckabee might actually have been good.

At the moment, President Obama and the Democrats have altered the game-they are now using the right’s verbiage and tone with the older Center Left message. The last political figure who married his opposition’s tone to his own philosophy? Ronald Reagan.

This just got extremely interesting.

Demographics

If one were to look at the demographics, one will realize that the Left’s absent friend Keith Olbermann will be back on the air quickly. This is because Olby has a market, and Glenn “The Beckwad” Beck had one with less appealing demographics.

Fox found overlap when CNN Headline News carried Glenn Beck over to Home Depot, gave him a hammer and a GPS programmed for the nearest beach, and told him to pound sand. After all, Glenn Beck appeals to quite a few Fox viewers.

Beck connects well to people who live in previously-owned manufactured homes, earn ten dollars an hour when employed, and have no teeth to speak of. There is no real revenue loss for Fox if all of his advertisers go away, because, face it; Beck’s audience has the same disposable income as dirt.

The people at most television networks are not looking for a loss leader. Beck stays because he keeps people (like your Wandering Gentile) who know better at least remembering that Fox is out there and purports to be a news source. One waits, probably not in vain, for Megyn Kelly to offer up that President Obama is actually the legendary “Bat Boy” from the Weekly World News.

The Weekly World News was a tabloid, which on occasion offered such scoops as “Bat Boy Found Living In Cave,” and inspired the “Boy Trapped In Refrigerator, Eats Own Foot” headline from Airplane! They also featured a weekly column from a character named Ed Anger, whose far-right rantings presaged Beck by several years. The Weekly World News went under a while back, probably because Fox offered the same thing without the hassle of reading. Or chapped lips.

It is at this point where your Wandering Gentile expresses a deep and embarrassing admiration for the National Enquirer. It is not for their politics or their intellectual posture. The closest one gets to politics is political scandal in the Enquirer. And that is something they do quite well.

Gary Hart, Bill Clinton, several politically connected evangelists, John Edwards and now Todd Palin have all been caught with their trousers down, and the Enquirer is who caught them. Every so often a blind squirrel gets a nut. But it takes one bad-ass squirrel to shake the entire oak tree.

The National Enquirer is one such bad-ass squirrel. The New York Times is not so much of a bad-ass squirrel when it comes to getting political figures in flagrante delicto. It’s called journalism, and who expected it out of Lantana, Florida?

Note to every journalistic enterprise: if an investigative journalist comes to you from the National Enquirer, give that scribe everything they want. If they had been researching your Sunday Crisis megaturd (Apologies to Dave Barry for using his apt term) there would not be 100,000 people in your market who think Pulitzer is a brand of light beer.

While saluting the competent and amazingly non-partisan investigative crew over at the National Enquirer, I totally got away from the point of Keith Olbermann coming back to television.

There are a few little facts about Keith Olbermann’s audience that really got my attention. They are disproportionately well educated, with a majority holding some type of higher degree. Their income level is roughly double that of Glenn Beck’s audience. They are loyal to products and providers who exhibit high quality and good service over lowest prices. And Keith Olbermann is one of very few unique voices in broadcasting.

He is also capable of endearing himself to moderates as well as liberals, because it’s good TV. Keith Olbermann knows this. So does his audience. And if anybody at say, CNN/Time Warner has any blamed sense, they know it, too. Third place is a cold and unhappy place to reside.

Sometime between July and October, there should be a tease spot on CNN, offering what will be the worst-kept secret in Cable TV, touching upon the imminent return of a beloved host to the “Most Trusted Name In News.”

And, um, there will probably be a lot of people TiVoing Rachel Maddow, because Piers Morgan has not really started well, now has he? (Look for Rachel to join CNN just as soon as Crud-I mean COMcast-finishes ruining MSNBC.)

MORE Debunking The News

Some time ago (January, 2009), Your Wandering Gentile posted the original “Debunking The News,” a list of bogus terms and phrases with what they mean in the real world. Your Wandering Gentile was a bit hard up for new material, so he grabbed the dead tree version of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, and found a whole bunch of NEW words and phrases designed to camouflage the speaker’s intent.

Able to capitalize on widespread frustration- If we do not get rid of these defectives with ballots, back into civil war we go!

Advocates dispute claims- Hence their description as ADVOCATES. Remember Robin Williams’ bit about redundant?

Arbitrary and capricious- Detrimentally affects my friends and anyone else who might give me money.

Based on a fresh analysis- Somebody found a way to give us an answer we liked.

Could be the administration’s last shot- Is the administration’s last chance, down by 8 in the bottom of the ninth.

Could be viewed as a rebuke- Will be as appealing as a s*** sandwich.

Could complicate efforts- (Screwed) into a cocked hat.

Critics said the vote was rigged- Myanmar, Miami, what’s the difference, really?

Despite difficult conditions while in captivity- Somehow, this never sounded like a week at Club Med in Costa Rica.

Gave a spirited rejection- Spat in the face.

Have become more vocal in their efforts- It’s like talking to a wall, isn’t it?

Improperly issued- Broke about nine zillion laws and rules by saying “okeydokey.”

Is politically toxic- Pisses own friends off.

Lacks confidence in ________- Thinks _______ is idiotic.

Made it falsely appear- Lied their asses off.

Mounting a robust defense- Look at the tense here…this is something you should have done six months ago!

On shaky ground- I don’t care if it eats garbage and pees 93 octane Unleaded gas. This is very bad for me politically and must DIE DIE DIE!

On condition of anonymity- These people I’m telling you about have guns and know where I live.

Organizers condemned the violence- Organizers weren’t caught participating in the violence.

Said in a statement- Phoned it in.

Starting point- There’s the stable, and there’s your teaspoon. Have a ball.

Taken out of context- Oh, crap, that mike was live.

The exact aim of the attack remains unclear- But this does not seem to be your garden variety Sigma Nu prank, though.

The language was a mistake rather than an intentional attempt to mislead- Sure it was.

These findings worry officials- No good can come of this for officials.

They might have disarmed the bomb accidentally rather than by design- Well! His head and hands are still attached! Excellent! Don’t try that again if you don’t know what you’re doing.

The New Reality- Same old Depression.

Ceremonial job- Almost as good a gig as Former Vice President.

Former Vice President- Money for nothing and Dick’s still free???

The Tsunami That Wasn’t

President Obama came out of the promised Tsunami in a whole lot better shape than most Democrats expected. Please do not confuse this for being GOOD for the President, but it is mostly wounded pride. He kept the Senate, and most of the Democrats sent into retirement were not exactly Obama’s political allies.

A few of the President’s more vexing figures in the Democratic Party managed to stay put, but Obama’s net loss of votes in the House is closer to 20 than 60. It turns out that Republicans prefer Republicans as opposed to Republicans who caucus with Democrats. Who knew?

In other words, the “Solid South” of Dixiecrats and Demagogues has been thoroughly purged from the Democratic Party. Nixon’s Southern Strategy has come to full fruition.

In the short term, this is a pain in the behind for President Obama. He also has a battalion of right-wing political pundits proclaiming the end of his presidency. It may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

Remember that whole “party of no” strategy that Republicans have been using for the last couple of years? Yeah, that’s not going to work so well now. Now they have to come up with something more than that.

Republicans actually have to send things to the Senate that will get to the floor. Gaining the House without getting the Senate gives Republicans two years to propose the Tea Party agenda, and get absolutely nothing passed. That gives President Obama a do-nothing Republican Congress to run against.

If anyone thinks Harry Reid is going to give in to Jim DeMint in the Senate, they should smoke some more of that particular stash.

President Obama is still fairly well liked, while there is no corresponding sentiment for congressional Republicans. A couple of people on the left have some buyer’s remorse and wish that Hillary Clinton were now the President. The people on the right who do not like President Obama didn’t like Hillary Clinton any better. They are unlikely to give Speaker-in-waiting Boehner too much latitude if and/or when he does not deliver.

Obama was the first president in a generation to win a majority of the popular vote. He did exactly what he had to do. The President used a big chunk of political capital to get as much of his agenda pushed through as he could when he was certain he had the majority in the House. This is something which put Republicans into full overreaction mode.

Republicans do not do overreaction well. If one goes back to the forties and the fifties, Richard Nixon versus Alger Hiss and Joe McCarthy versus Decency are key examples. Let us please not start on anything done by a member of the Bush Family.

We now approach two years of Don’t Tread On Me sound bite populism, from what is arguably the most unappealing political body ever. For the Tea Party’s claims of massive grass-roots support, there was no statewide candidate from the Tea Party to outperform expectations for any Republican.

In the cases of Christine O’Donnell, Sharron Angle, and Ken Buck, Senate seats which had been trending Republican went to the Democrat. Mike Castle is among Delaware’s best liked political figures. The Chicken Lady, Sue Lowden, was tracking WAY ahead of Harry Reid in Nevada. The less one says about Ken Buck, the better.

A case could be made for Pat Toomey, but 1 for 37 is NOT that much better than 0 for 37. Ask Barry Bonds about his postseason hitting record sometime.

The Republicans have a giant Tea Party Albatross around their necks. This overpriced publicity apparatus has produced NO unexpected results, generated no new support, and alienated pretty much every growing population in the country. If Republicans had washed their hands of the Tea Party and the Koch Brothers, they would now be in a better position for free.

Republican misfortune is such: they now own a quarter-billion Dollar machine, and the blamed thing does not work. Do not think that salesmen Karl Rove and Dick Armey have endeared themselves to the party poobahs. While the tea party has blue-collar appeal, they are not self-supporting. There is no death panel like that of Republicans who have dropped 250 million bucks on convincing poor people to do something and got nothing but what they were going to get anyway.

Some of the higher-profile Tea Party figures are already walking back the Tea Party identity. Rand Paul and Marco Rubio are already saying “Tea? Tea? No, I ordered a Diet Coke.” The Half-term Halfwit is still bringing her peculiar brand of polar populism, but the audience has seen the quiet exeunt of Republican power brokers.

The Grand Old Party sees the fastest return to power through failure in the near term. They cannot afford a 2014 election cycle with a viable Sarah Palin near the head of the party, so they will get rid of her in 2012. The only thing Democrats could have wanted besides a win this cycle has happened.

The Republicans seized a pyrrhic victory.

American Liberal

I am a liberal. I am not ashamed of my beliefs. Let the debate with whichever individual or group begin.

I have a deep mistrust of unaccountable collectives. It does not matter what name an unaccountable collective goes by, be it Corporation or Government. If forced to choose, I will pick Government, because the power of the individual vote, bought and paid for with the blood and suffering of generations of American service people, is ultimately a greater guarantor of transparency than shadowy lucre.

I see the role of Government not as enemy, but as a power of all the people of this great nation to assure that no citizen is denied that greatness upon gender, ancestry, faith, or sexual orientation. Prejudice and bigotry are not American values. They are vices which destroy our nation from within as a cancer.

I know that America is the most exceptional and extraordinary nation in the history of mankind. We achieved this by opening doors, not closing them. By embracing new ideas and different peoples we stood toe to toe against every kind of totalitarian evil and won, with the knowledge that autocrats discarded. Leave walls and paranoia to North Korea…we know they don’t work for us.

I love my Nation, and support its defenders. This means that they must be called into action, not by questionable intelligence, but by irrefutable truth. The sacrifice of our all-volunteer military is not to be treated as a mercenary force for the prosecution of a personal vendetta.

I love my God. I have friends who come from every religious tradition. I have friends who are not part of any religious tradition. My God tells me to judge not lest I be judged. While I feel sad that some have not received the gift of faith, I respect and admire those who continue to do the right thing without the promise of an eternal reward. Oh, that all of my own faith should act so well.

I accept the patriotism and service of Representative Keith Ellison, a Muslim, and Representative Hank Johnson, a Buddhist, as coequals with Representative John Lewis, a Christian, and Representative Anthony Weiner, a Jew.

I embrace the concept of personal responsibility. This means that individuals, who have acted irresponsibly, particularly in the financial services industry, bear the brunt of their bad decisions. Fraud does not deserve continuing reward; speculation is a form of gambling unworthy of public support, and the best talent profits by building strong communities, not spurious investment instruments.

I believe in a free and unrestricted press. When six companies control a disproportionate number of outlets in radio and television, debate ceases to exist. Without debate, our nation strays far from the tradition that it was built upon.

I favor the right to keep and bear arms. I do not believe that a right exists to behave irresponsibly with one’s weapons. I also get that “well regulated” does not mean “unregulated.”

I support the right of labor to organize. I would not go to court without an attorney. It seems disingenuous to expect someone to make a financial decision of potentially millions of dollars, alone, without representation to counter an employer’s legions of accountants, attorneys, and managers.

I am not blinded by hatred for taxes. Our nation prospers with education, infrastructure, a justice system which is free from corruption, and shared responsibilities which assure us of clean and accessible air, water, food and medicine. Employers prosper disproportionately from a healthy, secure and educated workforce, and their responsibility is also disproportionate.

I love opportunity. I reject the notion that opportunity is something which should be limited to those who already have means. This nation’s founders shared a vision of a place where opportunity and prosperity would not be the province of idle nobility, a cosseted clergy, and miniscule enclaves of merchant and financiers.

So when bringing a debate about the future of the United States of America, remember who threw that first tea party. They were not Tories, Loyalists, or Conservatives. They were people like me.

They were American Liberals.

Hey i've seen this before

Imagine my chagrin when i discovered my idea without, any acknowledgement

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9/11 Love Story

One promises not to touch the cliches about the pretty September morn or wax eloquently about Manhattan's snaggle-toothed skyline.  If the date 9/11 has no significance for the Gentle Reader beyond the litany of now-trite allusions and allegories, then these words have little significance.

As Paul Harvey used to say, this is the rest of the story.  It is personal.

On September 8, 2001, I had planned a visit to Manhattan.  I am a commercial driver.  The firm I was hired onto at the time had a yard in New Brunswick, New Jersey.  My plan was to celebrate my birthday with an oft-delayed visit to New York City.  I was offered a run from Atlanta to New Jersey, which due to certain regulations faced by professional drivers, I would not have been able to complete by Monday, September 10.

The key issue was that my truck was bog-slow, with a maximum velocity of 62 miles per hour.  Had the rig been a bit faster, I may not be here to tell the story. 

My itenerary included the World Trade Center.  There was no particular motivation besides that of Homer Simpson visiting that landmark.  If one chooses one of the world's greatest cities, one chooses the greatest landmarks in that city.

I wound up celebrating in a different form in my hometown of Atlanta.  On the night of September 10, I watched one of the great World War II films (Steve McQueen in The Great Escape), and headed to Virginia with a load of dog food.  It was as simple as that.  At 3 in the morning, I parked my rig in a North Carolina rest area.

The next morning I arose to find the message that the second World Trade Center tower had fallen.  Holy cow, I didn't know the first one had fallen.  The only channel I could get was the ABC affiliate from Winston-Salem.

I had a pocket full of change and called some old friends back in Georgia.  First on the list was my old friend Moses Horowitz, a Long Island native.  I asked after his family in New York.  There was another friend with whom I had celebrated my birthday, to inform that I was still around and still had a pulse.  I made it up to the truck stop in Mount Airy, the model for Andy Griffith's Mayberry.

The image of CNN anchor Aaron Brown weeping lingers in an arid and painful place in my heart.

And I was haunted.  I was haunted by a too-vivid imagination, remembering a young woman I had taken to the Decatur bus station, as she embarked for a journey to renew her life in Union City, New Jersey.  I imagined the gray uniform shirt of a maintenance person, her face, and the knowledge that the planes hit at least a quarter of the way down the buildings.

I remembered her name.  It would not escape me.  As rosters of the fallen came from New York, I studiously avoided them.  For 49 months, through the memorials and annual recitations, over the photocopied handbills, I dared not go too closely for the abject terror that my passivity had condemned this woman to a martyrdom in New York.

The month after The Wandering Gentile first published in 2005, I returned to Atlanta from a time domiciled in southern Georgia.  I rented a room from a woman of my approximate age in the eastern suburbs.  She was and remains a friend, although time and circumstance have put a necessary distance between us.

In October, I was invited to visit Helen, Georgia, one of the world's great kitschy places, with her brother and sister-in-law.  She went up in her CUV, and her brother and sister-in-law drove their large Toyota.  As we neared Helen, 90 or so miles from Atlanta, her sister-in-law put on a stern face.

"Do you remember my cousin?"  She asked, then uttered the name.  Her face was not one of joy, but of mourning.  I could feel my soul sinking through the floorboard of the Toyota.  This was the eventuality I had been avoiding for 49 months. 

"Yes," I replied meekly, suddenly enervated.

"She remembers you too!  I was in New Jersey, and she asked after you!"

They say that life has moments.  One questions whether or not he has answers, but when the answer is obvious, bells and whistles go off.  Bells, whistles, fireworks, air raid sirens, and tiny European engines echoed throughout my cranium.  This was a sign 30 meters tall and backlit.

The Gentle Reader may be forgiven if one has chosen to skip the body of this extended bit of self serving meta.  It is of no purpose or weight other than the conceit that it pleases me.

But as we close on the anniversary of a dreadful morning in Manhattan, rejoice in that for most, those who loved someone associated with the World Trade Centers, that someone returned home later on September 11.  God lives in the fact that this evil did not cost 50,000 or 100,000 lives.  God lives in the flat tire someone had entering the Holland Tunnel, or the train which was delayed on Long Island.  I refuse to believe that good and evil do not have some supernatural design.

I also refuse to compel my brethren to believe as I do.  That mindset is fertile ground for the evil we saw as innocent lives were taken.

And for the record, that young woman I spoke of taking to the bus station in Decatur?  The one whose life inspired my rejoice?

You, Gentle Reader, would know of her as Mrs. Wandering Gentile.