Showing posts with label George W. Bush. Show all posts
Showing posts with label George W. Bush. Show all posts

21 May 2011

The New Calendar Arrives

If the Obama administration were a baseball game, taking Osama bin Laden out is a fifteen-run fourth inning in a game he was winning 7-3.  Make that 22-3 now. 

In one weekend, the instant replay showed that the ball hooked fair around the Pesky pole (ask a Red Sox fan about this particular obstacle at Fenway Park), by dragging out the original birth certificate signed by his mother's OB in Honolulu.  Then within hours, the Internet lit up like a Bush Family midnight visit to Baghdad. Osama, the infernal boogeyman of the last twenty years, was dead.

There are those who will argue that eliminating bin Laden may not have been legal.  A description of that particular mindset contains language which is not appropriate here.

When one commits an act of war upon a nation, confesses, and declares oneself to be the accountable party of the body committing the act of war, one becomes an enemy combatant.  That is cut and dried.  Whether or not the culpable party has the official backing of a nation-state or functions as a privateer is not relevant.

The tacit approval of several countries with Islamic majorities is apparent-particularly Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and the former Taliban Regime in Afghanistan.  The implied, as opposed to express support saves a major city in any of those countries from becoming a parking lot. The fact that bin Laden was in Pakistan was troubling due to the fact that Pakistan is a nuclear power.

Remember the old Bush-era spectre of our only warning being a mushroom cloud over a major city?  Pakistan has the tools to make that happen.  Osama bin Laden was not hiding from the Pakistanis.

Indeed, it is pretty evident that the compound was out of the ordinary and the locals knew something was up.  There was somebody high enough up in the Pakistani command apparatus to make sure he stayed off the radar.  It is not entirely unbelieveable that someone with that kind of clout has access to tools and codes, the kind which make mass murder a one-stop affair.

Sometimes it is as simple as "it was him or us."  Bin Laden wasn't remarkably original in his target selection, which leads to the conclusion that New York and Washington were, if not the two leading targets, in the top three. 

The Obama Administration, in two and a half years of being a little less heinous in their practices compared to the Bush Administration, managed to neutralize Osama bin Laden without the use of "extraordinary rendition."  The euphemism is still offensive.

For the cost of a 24-man Seal Team, one Black Hawk stealth helicopter, and retraining one clumsy whirlybird pilot, they got Osama. All told, a bit over 60 million dollars, including ruined hardware. That is still real money, but a whole lot less real than three trillion dollars, 5000 servicepeople dead, seven-and-a-half YEARS without neutralizing the original objective, and the nation's reputation as a fair broker stuffed down a commode.

It was, mathematically speaking, like replacing an ugly $50,000 car that sits inoperable in the driveway and periodically eats a young family member, with a brand new sportscar which was purchased for ten cents, gets to the desired destination...and 38 miles per gallon.

This puts the national security aspect into dollars and cents-mostly cents.  Twenty cents a person is what the mission cost, belying the costs of the security mechanisms built under the George W. Bush administration.  The plot wasn't even new-it merely lacked Chuck Norris or Charles Bronson and Martin Balsam as the designated Jew from being culled from a Golan-Globus film of the mid-eighties.  (Which one? ALL OF THEM.)

Afghanistan  has returned to comparitive irrelevance.  Pakistan has proved to be an unreliable partner.  Iraq is as progressive friends advised nine years ago, superfluous and should not have been our problem.  The Southern border with Mexico was much less vulnerable than the comparably porous Northern border with Canada, which has a fairly open immigration policy with Pakistan.

In other words, every "Security" Republican's credibility has been effectively destroyed.  There is no unnecessarily elaborate Dr. Evil/Bond Villain death involved, no monologue, just the Osama cocktail, two shots and a splash of water.

There is a sentiment among a part of both the progressive and conservative communities alike that bin Laden should have been tried.  It is fair to characterize this viewpoint as an outlier.  There is no necessity in putting the people of New York, Washington, London, Madrid, or even The Hague through reliving the horrors of Osama's confessed crimes.  Nor is there a particularly compelling reason to make any of those cities a target for bin Laden's associates.  If he wanted a trial, bin Laden had ten years to surrender.

The incontrovertible truth is that Osama bin Laden was an armed, dangerous fugitive who had ample opportunity to solicit a fair hearing and supply his followers with a litany of propaganda.  He did not choose that route.

The Pakistanis will bear watching, but for now the intelligence gathered from bin Laden's computer files should prove to be very fruitful for American and allied intelligence services.  There could be up to a terabyte of plans and contact information.  All of bin Laden's now-known accomplices should be watching over their shoulders.

They will not anticipate when the visit comes from the CIA, MI6, or the Mossad.  These are not nice people, and they do not have nice tasks, but they are also a sad necessity of last resort.

As for those who prospered from bin Laden's continued existence, there is a huge vacuum where the monster, the destroyer lived.  These are people who profit from fear and loathing of the other.  A large component of those belong to the Republican Party in the United States.

Already, two viable candidates for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination have decided against entering the field.  One of them is Mike Huckabee, which should be sufficient to provoke jubilation in the Obama camp.  The other, Donald Trump, is a polarizing figure who would have done more to destroy the Republican party than promote it.  That job will now go to Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann.

Budget and security policy likewise inhabit a changed territory.  When the argument existed that legislative activity contributed significantly to the well-being of the nation and its citizens, it was not possible to prove a negative...nor is it ever.  In a landscape where effectiveness can be measured against a result, it becomes imperative that the whole shebang (a technical term) goes back on the table to see what can be disposed of.

This will require a Republican of stature serving in a weak district to happen before 2013.  Should no agreement be found, the death of Osama bin Laden may prove to be what fragments the Republican-Libertarian coalition in American politics.  It exists as a point of the deficit being unmanageable without an identifiable symbol at which resources may be directed. 

In other words, the Democratic Party has the opportunity to say "We are the party which wants to leave you alone and stop costing you money," to the vast majority of Americans.  They now have the leverage to show how that will be accomplished, and the credibility of action and results.

Oh, how one yearns to use the Anglo-Saxon vulgarity which is applicable to the condition of al Qaeda and the Republican party alike.

22 May 2009

But...We're Not Dead Yet

All reports of the demise of the Republican party are as of yet, sadly, untrue. But there is hope, because they are on life support and their recent behavior is evocative of a stage 4 lung cancer patient walking into the QT for a pack of Marlboros.

A Democrat has to love Dick Cheney. His actions and outcomes are as predictable as an Univision telenovela. What Cheney says has ceased to matter as much as his smug, sarcastic delivery. Every time the man opens his mouth, he finds ways to turn off those within the eighty thousand or so people left willing to self-identify as Republicans.

Not only is Cheney unwilling to admit that his party lost six months ago, he keeps reminding the electorate as to why. Choosing a public confrontation with Barack Obama and Colin Powell is not the most appropriate form of swaying the independent voter back to the Republican Party. What is amusing is that despite both Obama and Powell being black, there has been little attention paid to the possibility of a prejudicial component.

Of course, no one harbors any illusions about Mr. Cheney having the first type of commitment to diversity-his crowd being diverse enough to include both Wonder Bread and Hellmanns Mayonnaise. The Republicans have lost all opportunity to connect with socially conservative african-american voters through Nixon's Southern Strategy. Latinos have been turned off by economic isolation strategies directed toward latinos while conflating all immigration with illicit behavior.

Thanks to Cheney coming off as a condescending (bag of fertilizer), a point has been reached where there are Republicans who feel that they no longer are white enough for their party...(see: Specter, Arlen. Before too long, also see: Steele, Michael.) An alliance with Rush Limbaugh and other quasi-sophist pundits has filled the party's ears with the idea that they're all right, but gosh dang it, they're just not conservative enough.

And Al Gore lost because he wasn't Liberal enough. That premise cost the Democrats several years of kowtowing to the anti-semitic, authoritarian Ralph Nader/Cindy Sheehan left. Leaving the center and surrendering a party to the most anti-libertarian forces of its base is a recipe for disaster. Had Gore moved further to the left in 2000, he would have lost twice the votes he got from Nader to Bush, and the whole Florida thing never would have happened.

If a party does not have a leader, they cannot manufacture one. The Republicans should ask John Kerry about that. At the moment, the choices for still-active political figures are limited to Sarah Palin and "Other," because every time Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) inserts himself into the discussion, one hears the late, great Harvey Korman saying "...too Jewish," in Blazing Saddles.

And the base is choosing to embrace Governor Palin in droves. Should Palin be the best that the Republicans can get, there is hope that the Yankees will be calling your pudgy, out-of-shape, 42-year-old Wandering Gentile to pitch...hopefully against the Red Sox. Mrs. Palin is not the cure for what ails Republicans...she is exactly what ails them; poor communication skills, a stale agenda, and an authoritarian political tack well to the right of the mainstream.

Should Republicans wish to rejoin the political forum, they have a few steps to take.

One: Conservative is not necessarily arrogant and caustic. The whole caustic and arrogant thing took off with Morton Downey, Jr.'s TV show in the late eighties, which was evocative of the radio show which predated Limbaugh in Sacramento. Reagan could be acerbic and inappropriate, but was rarely anything less than a perfect gentleman.

Democrats should not fear Sarah Palin, but they need their A game for Mike Huckabee.

Two: The whole State's Rights/Tenth Amendment resurgence that Governor Rick Perry (R-TX) has put back on the table? It doesn't work. Primarily, it appears to be a vehicle for old confederacy types to retry institutionalized bigotry against latinos. Smaller jurisdictions enacting ordinances to review nationality documents with regard to rental properties and business licenses, 287g, and like laws are a pretext to harass latinos of all legal dispositions.

What happens when a progressive state whose economy is in the toilet uses the tenth amendment to vacate the parts of federal immigration laws that they don't like. (I'm talking to you, Michigan and Rhode Island) If driver's licenses and business licenses bring in new entrepreneurs without papers and the economy takes off, the current tenth amendment fans will howl for a constitutional convention to repeal the thirteenth through the seventeenth amendments.

As if they liked those amendments in the first place.

Three: Whether they like it or not, Republicans are going to have to move left to survive. At the moment, there is a very weak railing holding their political vehicle away from a looong drop into the drink. Republican potential lies in the increase of old, angry, affluent white Christians, which is a demographic which shrank under their watch, and the trends aren't looking too good for the future.

You see, their children grew up knowing Dora as well as their parents knew Miss Piggy. Those are children comfortable with diversity. They saw the government break the country's image, social compacts, and economy within five years of a surplus of goodwill, tranquility, and money. Those children reaching voting age this year know Democrats as the party of peace, prosperity, and minimal governmental intrusion.

Remember, the people that Republicans promised us that they would be?

16 December 2008

To an Unknown Iraqi Journalist


I don't know you. We are unlikely to ever cross paths in a Publix, or the Buford Highway Walgreens, and, one surmises, a good Georgia Barbecue Pork sandwich is completely out of the question.

There is no question that there your motives for lofting those loafers were sound. One imagines that if our roles were reversed, the temptation would be difficult to suppress. There are quite a few Americans who would agree with why you hurled the huaraches.

And in that aspect, all persons concerned would be justified in a sneaker slider...but...here's the issue. Whether we like it or not, George W. Bush is the freely elected President of the United States, and will be for another five weeks. Picking a fight with him outside of the United States makes Americans pissy, even Americans who agree with you. It stops being an attack on a man you find despicable, and becomes an assault on the office and the people it serves.

For our friends on the Left, imagine the same thing directed at President-Elect Obama, by a journalist serving at the pleasure of a military dictator anywhere, while overseas, and feel your ire rise. One is free to his dislike for the officeholder, just do not disrespect the office.

Please do not think that we should hoist the presidency up on an ivory tower. It should be down on street level and able to respond swiftly and surely to assaults from all sides.

As for President Bush, what the hell were you thinking? You have five weeks, and a single digit approval rating, best recognized by the single digit raised by most Americans when you pass by or your picture shows up on the news. This is not a time to start gallivanting around the globe showing your ass while asserting your two drops of relevance as a world leader.

This is the time where you would be best advised to sit your fuzzy butt down in Washington or Dallas, stop costing us any more money, and shut the merry heck up. How much does one of these little overseas jaunts cost in the first blamed place? When you're running multi-trillion dollar defecits and got five fricking weeks left in the White House, STAY HOME!

Can you imagine what would have happened had that Iraqi journalist gotten something more serious than a shoe in that room? This is where you and the Left have a great overlap of agreement. Neither one of you wants a President Dick Cheney, which is precisely what could have happened.

The idea of President Dick Cheney, second shortest administration in history (Only William Henry Harrison's being shorter) because you got a wild hair up your torpedo tube to go to Iraq because you could, well, it annoys me. You deserve to be blessed out for it. When we, the people cannot afford Christmas gifts for our children, much less our mortgages, car payments, heating and light bills, or food, your trip is the posturing of an impotent, arrogant, redundant hack.

The really sad part is that there just is not enough time to impeach Bush. But can someone in Congress cut the funding for Air Force One so he has to carry his behind back to the United States and face the disaster he made in person? By the time he hits Washington, there is a good chance that his Cadillac Limo will be an orphan, i.e., a car whose manufacturer no longer exists.

It's easy to be annoyed at the Iraqi journalist. If he had behaved any more obnoxiously, he would now be Fred Goldman. But one at least understands the motivations behind his act.

Bush, on the other hand, should never have been in that situation in the first blessed place. He has enough people around him to know better. And if they are unwilling to say so, we, the American people, are.

One imagines, with great trepidation, approximately 130 million Nikes lining the telephone lines throughout greater Washington.

06 December 2008

OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!!!


Osama bin Laden, 51, of Not a Secret Cave Any Damn More, Waziristan, was killed on or about 5 November when a Predator Drone landed in his couscous.

In a moment evocative of the late Jack Anderson, your Wandering Gentile has obtained a transcript of a conversation between two bin Laden henchmen, Farj al-Kufri and Hasan ibn Xanith.

FK: (Intercourse!) They got Osama!

HX: The (intercourse?) When?

FK: The other night.

HX: (Excrement.) Now what are we going to do?

FK: We aren't going to say (male genitalia.) The Yanks are going to have a field day with the death of the Leader.

(Static)

FK, HX: YAAAAAH!!!

HX: How did they find him?

FK: Somebody at the Circuit City in Islamabad spotted him. A dude who stands a meter-ninety two, has a scraggly beard, has not bathed in the last seven years, and speaks poor Urdu sticks out in Pakistan. Believe it or not.

HX: I warned him about his love for technology and gadgets. He spent several weeks last year trying to find a cave with cellular service for his I-Phone. On the bright side, Pakistan Bell Cellular is not going to hold al Qaeda to the leader's contract.

FK: That's mighty Islamic of them. What about Dialysis Time Kidney Machines and Minivans?

HX: Who do you think sent the predator drone?

FK: I thought it could have been the Waziristan Electrical Management Cooperative.

HX: Can we spin this?

FK: Not just no, but (excrement) no. Without Osama, we're like the Stones without Mick Jagger. Wings without Paul McCartney. The (intercourse) you think, dude? We're screwed.

HX: Look, maybe we can pull something out of our ass. We send a video out from al-Zawahiri where he gets racist on Obama, how he's a sellout and a traitor. Maybe that works?

FK: Well, it's probably better than nothing which is all we got right now. You got anything we can hit? Los Angeles? Waco?

HX: You're gonna have to come up with something closer than that. Osama was financing the whole thing with his ATM card, and he never got around to giving me his (almightily condemned) PIN code. We got enough to get maybe to the Khyber Pass, and a phone card to call our cell in Mumbai.

FK: What about our cells in the United States? We had operations in a dozen cities!

HX: "Had" is the operative tense here. Our cells in New York, Chicago, Miami, San Francisco, Cleveland, and Detroit went bust when the economy tanked. Our fronts in L.A., Vegas, and Phoenix were foreclosed. St. Louis and Milwaukee switched their affiliation to Hamas.

FK: That leaves a city! What about Atlanta?

HX: It gets worse. Atlanta got tangled up with Cynthia McKinney when she discovered that we killled Tupac. His future would have been longer in al Aqsa.

FK: Well, we still have the support of our frinds in the Bush family.

HX: Oh, that's just (having intercourse) great. When the economy over there tanked, Bush wound up being three points less popular than Osama. However, that's still within the margin of error. When gas hit four bucks a gallon, Bush may as well have flown the planes instead of listening to a child read My Pet Goat.

FK: (Eeeeeexcrement.) This sucks. Our leader is dead. Our movement is broke. We're (excrement) out of favors with anyone. Can we offer a fitting epitaph to our beloved departed Osama?

HX: It doesn't look like it.

FK: We may as well not give Bush a (condemned) thing, and maybe we slow Obama's (small beast of burden) down just a hair looking for us. In late January we announce that Osama died of natural causes.

HX: Allah be praised! Osama always enjoyed screwing his benefactors.

25 November 2008

Gentoon Update!




To friends of The Wandering Gentile, and newbies alike. Please let us know what you like. Email is available in my profile. If you have stumbled upon us in the middle of the internet and like what you see, please please please say hello! Your Wandering Gentile promises that he does not in any way, shape or form intend to maim or maul either your psyche or person. (Promise does not necessarily apply to Governor Sarah Palin or Sean Hannity.)