I Can Drive 55 (But I Don't Want To)

Senator John Warner (R-Virginia) has proposed bringing back a national speed limit.

Here's a better idea: If Senator Warner thinks 55 is such a good idea, let him slow down to 55 and lead by example. While he's at it, let's make sure he takes no fuel-using junkets in wasteful jets; he can move to a small home in Arlington on the Washington Metro, therefore not depriving the people of the Commonwealth of Virginia of his leadership; and he can cram a broken Compact Fluorescent light bulb up his torpedo tube. Talk about fire in the hole.

If Dennis Kucinich had made this motion, at least there would be the consolation in the knowledge that Kucinich is sincere. John Warner, scion of the elite, Secretary of the Navy under Richard Nixon, ex-husband of Elizabeth Taylor, and quasi-aristocrat in the peculiar American style is not a fair broker. This pontificating cretin, like Al Gore, presumes that his position and influence allow him to have better judgement than the people he governs.

All the while, there are 299 million people in this country who did not cast a vote for him in the last election.

There is a market for energy-saving and lower-polluting technologies. Market-based "green" solutions are not only desirable, the cost is coming closer to achieving parity with older and less efficient methods. The habit of efficiency and frugality is worthy, and societal pressures will provide a greater enforcement. (Think about how likely it is for someone to light a cigarette in a restaurant in 2008, and the point is made.)

However, Warner is a supporter of "Cap and Trade" greenhouse gas credits, enforced by the Federal Government. Good Lord, even George Harrison did not anticipate a tax on air in his seminal 1966 song "Taxman." Congratulations to Socialist-affiliated greenies! Not even the Soviets figured out how to tax air!

Not economically, anyway.

Now Warner wants to have Washington set the speed limits for Atlanta, Austin, and Helena. This was a poor idea in the 1970s, when Nixon and the EPA first did it, and there was a sigh of relief when Clinton finally did away with the despised federal oversight more than 20 years later. Republicans in DC have been making a mess of matters already under their bloated purview for the last decade, hitching their political wagon to ideological orthodoxy with zero regard for actual outcomes.

Activism is their right, but when one considers Ken Starr's pursuit of Clinton, the Iraq war, questionable review of commodities markets, deport-them-at-any-cost immigration legislation, and letting New Orleans drown, Democrats don't look so bad.

Okay, Clinton cheated on his wife, and then he lied about it. Considering Mrs. Clinton's mercurial demeanor, it may be inferred that Clinton was acting in the interests of his own self-preservation, or at least the preservation of Little Slick Willie. One will recall that a whole stack of Republicans shifted downward on clout level because they did not have any room to talk. Henry Hyde and Newt "The Grinch" Gingrich come immediately to mind.

Credit where it's due- Warner did not vote to convict.

Iraq is just a mess. The whole region has been a mess since the dawn of time, and all we did was hug Uncle Remus' Tar Baby, except it was Uncle W's petroleum baby. The surge is the least bad option, but time has come to get the hell out of there ASAP, find Osama, and be very loud about taking care of business.

The following should be credited to Mr. Drew, a sharp-eyed reader from Las Cruces, NM, who brought this idea to me first. The idea that US petroleum commodities markets are not well regulated has been around for quite some time. It would not take more than a couple of players to bluff the stakes up on the table, so to speak.

Considering that two OPEC countries, Venezuela and Iran, are led by men with an adversarial outlook and relationship with the United States, it is no challenge to see them collaborating on tactics which would be detrimental to the interests of the United States. Chavez and Ahmadinejad would certainly have historical knowledge of the actions which have proven to profitably catalyze world markets. Their privately-based counterparts in the United States are certainly capable of tacitly accepting behaviors which push the price of commodities in their hands beyond the level which normally would be accounted for by supply and demand.

Bush's connection to the petroleum industry, however tenuous, would suggest that a call could be placed along the lines of, "George, we're hurting out here in Midland, and checking the ethics of the petroleum markets could be very bad for our future fund-raising efforts." One would love to see the calls on Bush's cellular bill. Those 432, 806, 325 and 915 numbers don't all belong to Laura's mother.

A national speed limit only helps ensconce the mentality that regular folks aren't being punished enough. It does not find unethical behavior in petroleum markets. It merely criminalizes the Status Quo.

Speaking of criminalizing the Status Quo, Warner voted against cloture on the McCain-Kennedy Comprehensive Immigration Reform bill. Should the Gentle Reader still be firmly against such reform, there is but one question-How are these high food prices workin' out for ya? You were warned here in February, 2007.

As far as New Orleans goes, it was a major city until Katrina hit. While disdain for those who had the means and ability to get out and did not do so is justified, that does not exculpate letting a major city drown. That is one of those points where it was not enough to fly over. Somebody, no matter if there was an invitation, needed to have his happy butt on the ground in New Orleans, or at least close by, before the blamed storm ever hit.

The same reasoning goes for those who did not get out as for the Government not going in. If you see a storm the size of Texas taking aim on a place and you are not a responder, get out, and if you are a responder, be ready to go in as soon as the wind dies down. FEMA was certainly able to get supplies to Florida (coincidentally governed by the First Brother) when it got hit by four major 'canes in '04.

Malfeasance or Incompetence, the results were the same, and either justifies running the Rs out of DC on a rail. This is, of course, providing that Federal Boondoggle Amtrak decides to show up today. Yes, that great Republican Nixon was the rocket scientist who nationalized passenger rail service. Now our choices for most US destinations are either by plane, car, or riding the dog. Way to save fuel.

Now for the sad part-there will be no need to vote John Warner out of office. He's quitting at the end of his term in January. Leave it to a man with nothing to lose to propose something as asinine as a return to federal control of speed limits.

GEORGE CARLIN 1937-2008

The Godfather of Free Thought is dead at 71. The though of this was so devastating that Your Wandering Gentile was unable to comment until now.

However, there is one thing that should be stated. Mark Twain is no longer alone, such was Carlin's contribution to American satire. Both were reviled as profane by bigots, liars, and prudes, and both will matter long after death.

As millions now revere Twain, it is not unbelievable that Carlin, iconoclast and renegade from the buttoned-down tightened-up postwar culture, will be deemed worthy of study by generations in the future. How fortunate we were to share our time with him.