Unfair And Imbalanced

Republicans are losing it, and it's a blast to watch.

Very few of us are happy about the way the McCain campaign is being run, but the style book belongs to Karl Rove, and was written by Lee Atwater. However, the Republican party doesn't realize that the magic in that style book was pretty much kaput long about the time the papers covering the 2004 election turned yellow.

Just for those of you who are under the misguided illusion that Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin are actual journalists, here is a little bit of how the propaganda works. (Indeed, your Wandering Gentile has more formal training in journalism than Limbaugh and Hannity, combined.)

Screw those Conservative douchebags. Your Wandering Gentile is PROUDLY PROGRESSIVE!

Socialist- Democrat. Any mechanism which does not enrich the upper one percent of the population is automatically badged with this. Unfortunately, this has been a little bit too successful, and there has been a tremendous transfer of wealth from the lower 99 percent to the upper one percent over the last, say, twenty years or so, removing leverage from those not in the upper percentile.

Socialist- Any form of collective behavior. Not all collective behavior is socialist, nor is all socialist behavior collective. There are points when collective behavior is justified, and protects the interests of its membership. There are practices accepted by capitalists-insurance comes immediately to mind, as does the military, where a broader interest is served by spreading risk and accountability among a larger group.

Amnesty- Any attempt by persons who have been excluded from applying for legal residency by an unjust and overreaching law to legitimize their status, or participate in capitalism. Very popular term for persons with tiny genitals/breasts discomfited by the occasional "Collectible" Ford Pickup playing rancheras by Los Violadores de Chihuahuas.

"The rule of law" - Amazingly unfair when applied to persons who act upon their approval for vigilantism on the U.S.-Mexico border; polygamists who marry middle schoolers in western Texas; commit acts of violence against abortion clinics; display Nazi/Confederate secessionist imagery in inappropriate places; or discriminate against nonwhite job applicants...

Reverse Racist- Any person not of northern European ancestry who dares to assert that the concerns found in his heritage are part of the American experience, and worthy of reflection and contemplation.

Agent of the Homosexual Agenda- Any person who feels that Gay americans are deserving of rights equal to those of straight americans in their private relationships. Automatic suspicion of dressing in a "Babette the leather person" outfit and marching in a Greenwich Village GLBT pride parade.

Anti-Christian- Catholic or non-Evangelical Protestant a/k/a Mainstream Protestant denomination.

Liberal- Has moved far enough to the right to encompass John McCain and George W. Bush.

Conservative- Slightly more tolerant, but as authoritarian as Hitler.

Communist- Just left of center, as compared to an authoritarian economic system characterized by government ownership of all property and management of all production.

(Has heart attack, keels over, dies.)- What happens if a Conservative actually encounters a real Communist, i.e., Hugo Chavez, Cindy Sheehan,