McCain Concedes!

If the Republicans' week improves much more, the title of this post may be accurate.

We'll start off with the end of the Democratic convention. Could one imagine the conversation in the West wing of the White House?

Staffer: Can you believe it? 84,000 people in Mile High Stadium! 38 million television viewers.

(Bush overhears.) Bush: What was it?

S: That show Obama put on last night.

B: Who does he play for?

S: (quizzically) The Democratic party.

B: Are they in the AFC or the NFC?

Poor Bush, he has been a gift to political satirists the likes of which has not been seen since Jerry Ford. Sadly, when Bush goes away to reclaim his title in his Texas village, neither McCain nor Obama is lampooned easily. Thankfully, a sense of humor does not have to be limited to politics.

The 38 million quote does not include 4 million watching on PBS, nor C-span viewers. In the interests of those opposed to Senator Obama, only 4 million or so people were watching the speech on Fox News. One in ten taking the spin that trends anti-Democrat is not necessarily a bad sign for Republicans, until one sees that the liberal-inclined MSNBC had an almost identical rating.

For those of us in the real world, the number that really matters is the one that says Obama's speechifyin' beat the finale of American Idol. Forty million people chose to stay tuned for a political speech. This is not 1976, when the conventions ate up all four channels, nor were there any VHS or DVDs available. In 1976, if four channels said you were watching a political convention, your only other option was turning the TV off.

The worthy Conservative opposition, one surmises, is preparing another assault based on William Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, Lack of Experience, Celebrity, or the Famous Photo of McCain in Vietnam as a POW. One suspects that even McCain is tired of this trite approach, particularly in light of the classy and tasteful salute to his opponent on the last night of the Democratic convention.

How else does one explain Sarah Palin? Was the support of the vital and critical Fairbanks Political Machine going to be the deciding factor in the election? Was the bake sale committee co-chair at Erk Russell Junior High in Waynesboro, Georgia, unavailable? Is the estimable Republican candidate suffering from Alzheimer's?

None of the above is accurate, of course. Rumors abound that McCain wanted to choose his friend and supporter Joe Lieberman as his Vice-Presidential nominee, but the plan was nixed by the party. One suspects that McCain made a decision along the lines of, "if this is how they want it, who is the least able option available?"

McCain did not have Daisy Duck as an option.

Twenty months as Governor of Alaska? Who is kidding whom? It doesn't take a Navy man to know when the commander is scuttling his tub. One suspects that McCain has had enough of the internecine backbiting, and the low tone of the campaign to date. Palin takes experience, judgement, agreement, foreign policy, and overall suitability for the national stage off the table.

Even McCain's friends came up with the same list of half a dozen better-seasoned, more suitable female candidates for Vice President as your Wandering Gentile did in five minutes. Only Dittoheads consider her to be worthy of the position, the Portly Pundit being the original server of Palin's Wasilla Kool-Aid. This is stunt casting. McCain himself does not believe he can win.

Palin is a hard-core Pat Buchanan Republican, a wing of the Republican party that has consistently accused McCain of being a "RINO," Republican in name only. This is the wing of the party that has aligned itself against McCain's attempts to work across the aisle, fought him tooth and nail on Campaign Finance and Immigration Reform, and accused him of being everything but being Ted Kennedy in drag.

As we here at the Wandering Gentile were mulling this over, just before this composition opportunity, the news broke that Governor Palin's seventeen-year-old daughter is, uh, knocked up. One supposes that this is the first pregnancy, and that the earlier report of the special-needs infant belonging to Bristol is inaccurate, although the circumstantial evidence is quite compelling.

So let me see if I got this straight, the family-values, evangelical Conservative beloved by both the Portly Pundit and Hannie Pie, is so compelling and convincing as a leader that her 17-year-old daughter goes out and engages in extramarital sex? Good Lord, this is turning into a telenovela, only lacking better scripts for inclusion on the Univision schedule.

One report had Governor Palin looking for a cheerleader outfit while shopping with Senator McCain. Hey, Sarah, let us know if those come in Maternity sizes!

It would be one thing if the candidate were living to a high standard on the official story, and evidence backed it up, but it's another to pretend that your family is a cold weather version of The Waltons until it turns out that Wasilla, Alaska, is actually located somewhere in the Valley of the Dolls.

One begs the Gentle Reader's pardon, but if I am the parent of a special needs infant, the last thing on my mind is going to be the day-to-day operation of a state and a Vice Presidential campaign. In fact, the commitment and attention necessary, parents working full-time would certainly have an investigation going from the Department of Family and Children's Services. And a busybody Republican of an authoritarian bent would be the first person to drop a dime to call DFACS in Georgia.

Of course, there would also need to be a boatload of independent DNA testing. This is the most uncomfortable feeling that your Wandering Gentile has had in some time, and the fear exists that there is more than meets the eye. Something is just creepy about this situation, covered-up and not accurate at all. When creepy is mentioned here, one is not referring to normal, witness to hypocrisy creepy, but Old Testament, survivalist, Stephen King tripping on acid creepy.

Who, after all, would be in a better position to cover things up than the popular, young, socially conservative governor of a remote state? (Steve! Call me! Have I got a story idea for you! You too, Maury Povich!)

And as if the whole Sarah Palin mess were not enough, a hurricane takes aim on New Orleans, pre-empting the first day of the Republican Convention, and reminding everyone in the country of the Bush admistration's zenith in Profiles in Cowardice. On the bright side, it saved the Republican Party the embarrassment of having to call the first day for lack of interest.

It also goes to show that God has made His endorsement, and it appears that He's a Democrat.