A View From the Lee Wuornos Truckstop

Seffner, Florida.

The trucker was sitting in his driver's seat, playing computer solitaire. A scruffy man approached, with a very dramatic story about his car breaking down, while at his mother-in law's funeral. There were details about how he had come from Mobile, and the price of the repair.

Instead of gaining the driver's empathy, he found the driver's ire.

"You're from Mobile? Let's see your driver's license. Your hat says Tampa."

The scruffy man answered, "you know, I left it on the dashboard of my car."

"Uh-huh," The trucker replied. "What's your tag number?"

"Ah, well, I don't remember all of it, but I know it starts with W."

"So you have a personalized plate."

"Noooo-ooo?"

The driver recognized that the beggar was full of pulp waste from the beginning, but now the driver was having fun. All plates in Alabama begin with a number, which is also the county code.

"Did your beloved mother-in-law live in Honduras?"

"Naw."

"Because the poverty there would have explained the lack of access to a washing machine or razor blades."

The beggar was trying to get away, but the driver was not done querying the beggar.

"So I take it that your mother-in-law had no friends who could refer you to a competent mechanic?"

"Oh, ah, I never wanted them to be bothered during their time of grief."

The driver raised an eyebrow. "But it's okay to have your wife stranded, what, 500 miles from home without a way back?"

"Oh, no, no..."

"You don't have any co-workers back in Mobile who could get you a bus ticket back and you could pay them back?"

"Well, ah, I was laid off. The plant moved to Mexico."

"Really?" The driver asked. "What kind of plant was it?"

At this point, the only response that could have been acceptable would have been "philodendron." Unfortunately, what came out was, "...the Dodge factory."

"Oh, yeah? What kind of Dodge did you make?"

"Darts."

"The last Dodge Dart was built in 1976! Have you been laid off for 31 years?" The trucker also remembered that Chrysler's nearest plant to Mobile was either St. Louis or Indianapolis... in Chrysler's good years.

"I mean Dusters."

"The Duster was a Plymouth." The trucker was done playing with the beggar. "Your story is full of holes. It's one thing to have a need, but dang it, if you're going to tell me a story, get your facts right!"

"But I'm telling you the truth."

"You're not, but you know, I'm willing to give you all of the help you deserve."

The shiny nickel the trucker pulled from his pocket bounced from the bill of the beggar's "Tampa" hat.

"You know the difference between you and an illegal alien? The illegal alien is actually good for more than the production of greenhose gases! And I never had a Mexican come up to me in a truck stop and beg for money. Because he's willing to get up in the morning and go to work."

"Well, they're taking all the jobs!"

"Because you didn't apply for them, or didn't do the work when you had them."

"You amnesty types are killing the middle class!"

"Not as fast as Americans who think they're entitled because of where they were born. You have papers, access to education, and all the assistance of a nation of 300 million, and you're whining and begging in a truck stop. It's because of people like you who give the impression that my nation is petty, and weak, and incapable of competing. Do America a favor, and get your happy butt out."

The trucker rolled up his window, put the air conditioner on high, and went back to work in the morning.