News From The Future...In a Dream

Atlanta poised to become global energy center.

Atlanta (DP)- Members of the former OPEC cartel have gathered in this Georgia metropolis in an attempt to recover from the collapse of world petroleum markets.

As the price of crude plummets below six dollars a barrel, experts are anticipating the closing of the Saudi oilfields which had fueled spectacular economic growth in the Middle East. This follows last month's Iranian secularist insurgency and the subsequent public dismembering of former strongman Ahmadinejad.

The 2006 discovery of the process that converts Kudzu into a clean-burning crude substitute has sent Wall Street into a flurry of bullish activity that overshadows the explosive growth seen at the beginning of the 1990s High Tech explosion. The Dow closed at 111,167, up 10991 in heavy trading yesterday. The Nasdaq index has been stagnant since crossing the 30,000 barrier last month, closing yesterday at 31,196.

Ray Lee Baker, the Georgia agriculturist who discovered the process, was prohibited from returning to the WalMart Supercenter in his hometown of Meansville, as the crush of media overwhelmed a greeter, who was treated and released at a Macon hospital. Baker insists that he will choose the simple lifestyle that he led before 2006, but "Earline will have a better car than the Plymouth."

The economy in Georgia has experienced spectacular growth since the licensing agreements signed by ExxonMobil, ChevronTexaco, Conoco Phillipps and BP. A building boom in Atlanta has added several high-rise towers to the downtown skyline since 2006. The Metropolitan Atlanta population has crossed 7 million and shows no sign of slowing soon as Process refiners add capacity in northern Georgia.

Former OPEC states have petitioned the United Nations for Humanitarian Aid after the collapse of the petroleum industry. The once-affluent gulf states have arrived at a state of total destitution. In Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Qatar sporadic reports indicate that the only food available is stale Matzoh donated by Israeli humanitarian organizations.

Israeli spokesman Sholom Goldberg stated "...fortune has provided the people of Israel with abundance, as well as our traditional friends in America. We would appear ungrateful in the eyes of our creator were we to allow fellow human beings to starve."

A response from the New Likud Party was a concise "...so let the bastards starve already. They should have eaten at the pizza place instead of blowing it up. "

Mass production of Process Kudzulene has dropped the price of motor fuel from a peak of $3.01 a gallon in the summer of 2006 to 62 cents today. General Motors, Ford and DaimlerChrysler have reported skyrocketing sales of North American-built models featuring V8 engines with cylinder deactivation technologies.

Spokesmen for the major US automakers state that the superior octane properties of Kudzulene alcohol have allowed them to use engineering that simultaneously raises power and fuel economy as opposed to petroleum-fueled engines. The Kudzulene-powered Chrysler 300 V8 now develops 400 horsepower in its basic form, and a higher performance model now reaches 500 horsepower.

GM and Ford, having returned to profitability, are reopening plants in the Atlanta area with a new objective-wind power technology. Home wind generators are seen by major automakers as a new arena for an established industry. "This is the future of civilized people. We will empower individuals as owners of their energy supply as opposed to vulnerability to pressures from outside the United States and the industrialized world," said Tiffany Miller, Vice-president of public relations for General Motors.

ChevronTexaco and ExxonMobil have announced a joint venture to produce photovoltaic roofing panels at a new facility outside Savannah. "As costs for this technology drop, you will see photovoltaic become the material of choice for roofing in the sun belt," said Mark Thomas, a new-technologies spokesman from the Southern Company. "It is in our strategic and financial interest that sources of power generation be sourced as close to the consumer as possible. As more residences become producers instead of consumers, you will see the kind of cultural shift that the advent of the automobile and the personal computer brought."

As new technologies and strategies for energy independence bring hope in the Western world, Middle Eastern leaders have converged upon the Atlanta Energy Market Expo at the World Congress Center to lobby for petroleum's continued role. Their pleas were falling on deaf ears.

Atlanta Process refinery worker Tyrone Hemmings made a statement that resonated a prevailing sentiment among domestic energy personnel. "They had us over their barrel of crude (oil). They chose to destroy with what they had been blessed with. I would say God gave them exactly what they deserve. Crude is a filthy, antiquated technology. Good riddance."