Crudcast Cable

“Dear Mr. Gillon.”

Uh-oh. Nobody puts Mr. in front of my surname unless they want money. It’s kind of like being called “Sir” in a truck stop parking lot.

“Crudcast Cable is offering a unique savings opportunity!”

Yup.

“Now you can have 150 channels of crystal-clear Crudcast Cable, packaged with home telephone service and lightning-fast Internet for…”

However dang many dollars a month they wanted. I forgot, not that I cared all that much to start with. I drive a truck. Mrs. Wandering Gentile only likes three channels, and we can get them with rabbit ears for free.

I shudder to think of what viruses are out there with Justin Bieber’s face on them. I suspect that a few are also on the Internet.

“Our premium 150 Channel Package includes all of your local favorites.”

They don’t carry the low-powered digital channel which happens to be TeleCaramba, my wife’s favorite network. We live close enough to the transmitter to pick up the broadcasts in our fillings.

“We also offer great sports programming from….”

I am the only person in the house who really watches sports at all. I drive a truck. I can tell you which newspapers have decent baseball coverage. It’s not doing me any good when I’m in Walla Walla, picking up apples.

“Crudcast’s news and information selection features great choices from CNN and Fox News.”

My apologies. I just threw up a little in my mouth. CNN is on channel 22. Fox is on 20. MSNBC is on another system.

“For the youngsters in the house, we have Disney, Nickelodeon, and the Cartoon Network.”

Okay, the youngster is almost 44…and rarely has impure thoughts about Selena Gomez any more.

“We also offer several convenient shop-at-home services.”

I have no clue what they have on these shop-at-home services, but I bet they are neither economical nor a very good use of bandwidth. Thankfully, this is not a habit of Mrs. Wandering Gentile’s. Shop NBC could easily be replaced with something from the same corporate family. Gee, could I guess what it might be?

“Crudcast home telephone service offers great connections and unlimited calling within the continental United States.”

My prepaid cell phone carrier offers ALL FIFTY states and Canada, and the Internet. For an extra five dollars a month, we can have unlimited land line connections in sixty countries on my wife’s prepaid carrier. My phone works everywhere but Oklahoma and some parts of West Virginia. Her coverage is a bit less nationwide, but better in Metro Atlanta.

I also don’t like telephones enough to want another one of the damn things which happens to be less versatile than what I have already!

“Crudcast Internet offers the lightning fast speed that you want…”

Yeah, except when a whole bunch of my neighbors discover that the Aguilas are playing the Chivas. Then the thing packs up like the Cross-Bronx Expressway on a Friday afternoon. I may as well try to find out what Rachel Maddow was talking about at 8 by smoke signal.

So I called Crudcast to see how much they would charge me for just Comedy Central, the Cartoon Network, and the Internet, just for grins.

It was 10 dollars more a month, I HAD to take Fox news when I didn’t want it, and Crudcast’s customer service department left a little bit to be desired, which is a nice way of saying that they suck.

If Jasmine stands on Sasha’s shoulders, we can pick up Macon with the rabbit ears.

The Season of Miracles

As this interminable summer of unpleasant confrontations and dreadful poll numbers draws toward its end, be of good cheer, Liberals.

Republicans want to debate extending the Bush Tax Cuts. This is like being a bullfighter in a wheelchair. There is no way this will turn out well.

If the Bush Tax Cuts had worked, it would be logical to expect the following:

1. Full employment.

2. A shrinking deficit.

3. Growth of middle class incomes.

This is, after all, the premise upon which the Tax Cuts were sold in 2001. At the time, the federal surplus was in the neighborhood of half a trillion dollars. The unemployment rate hovered within a few ticks of 5%. The spending power of the median US family was about 20% more than it is today.

Supporters of reinstating the Bush Tax Cuts will argue some points. 9/11 will come up, as will the subprime mortgage fiasco. The suggestion will be made, with some tenuous supporting evidence, that the middle and lower classes are paying less in taxes today than they did ten years ago.

9/11 was certainly an impact upon the American economy and psyche. There are now two wars as a result, at a cost of (roughly) a trillion dollars a year. Our presence in Iraq is questionable, at a cost of having lost bin Laden at Tora Bora.

For those who would suggest that Liberals do not support the armed services, one wishes to query. Starting a war, sending troops without adequate intelligence or correct equipment for the job, and then the whole thing turns out to have been done on crap evidence, well, how supportive is that? Cutting benefits and placing stop-loss orders is not supportive either.

The subprime meltdown is another case of the path to hell being paved with good intentions. Yes, Clinton signed the repeal of Glass-Stegall. Being truthful, quite a few Liberals and Progressives were convinced that the economy would continue its exponential growth. Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI) is among the few who get a pass for not following a dumb, but popular, idea.

For every Conservative who loves Madame Palin’s “How’s that hopey changey stuff workin’ out for ya,” there is a guy, whose residence has a license plate, looking for a deregulation Republican to park his home on. This individual is paying less in income taxes, because 15% of zero is zero.

The Laffer curve was great while we were on the upslope. The downslope is as frightening as anything found at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. We are facing something that would have a very peculiar interpretation of y=mX+b. A point came somewhere around five years ago when we passed the intersection where lowering the marginal tax rate would result in increased revenues.

What would work is getting back to what we already know works. The pre-Bush economy worked.

President Obama has been holding this move for months. There is no way he does not want the Bush Tax Cut debate to come to the floor of Congress. The population which would be most affected voted something like 90% in favor of Senator McCain two years ago. There is no political downside for Obama.

If the usual litany of Conservatives begins to pontificate on the virtues of this particular tax cut regimen, then the Democrats don’t have to run against individual opponents. They are now running against people who prospered when most people did not and George W. Bush. That works quite well.

The wealthy will cry victim, as with any group which has become dependent upon public largesse. There is something decidedly unsympathetic about any group prospering on somebody else’s dime. Welfare kings from Beverly Hills to Beacon Hill are even less sympathetic when one has faced the loss of a career, a home, or a marriage to economic instability.

Governments cost money to run. A progressive taxation policy is not punitive to producers. It means that those who have prospered under a free, democratic system are also responsible for maintaining the integrity of the system which has enabled their prosperity.

Producers know that debt is not a smart choice. The nation is overleveraged. We can ill afford to dump US$700 billion on people who sat on it the last time. An economically broken government cannot assure the security of the nation it serves.

And if he has to, Obama’s going to veto the Bush Tax Cuts anyway.

Fossil Fuel Free by 2023

The left is losing the green discussion. Progressives are already heavily invested in renewable energy, and that is not a bad thing.

But progressives are losing the political center. Last summer, your Wandering Gentile proposed the concept of “Defensive Energy Autonomy Legislation.” The idea is simple. Fossil fuels make America vulnerable to countries that are not likely to act in the best interests of Americans.

It really does not matter which country with oil is acting. There are enough despots on both sides of the authoritarian spectrum to be of concern to everyone.

So what is the easiest solution? Quit using oil! The time to start was nine years ago, but was hindered by an administration with ties to an industry which needs to become as relevant as typewriter repairmen.

This is not a hard sell. Where did the money for the aviation lessons for 9/ 11 come from? It isn’t exactly like al Qaeda was using Terror Scout cookies to pay for it. This was oil money. Petroleum supports terrorism, period.

The first objective is simple. Take steps to help every home and business in America become a net producer of renewable energy. This is a goal which is possible with technology existing today.

The effect of this upon the economy would be spectacular. There would be a need for twenty million new jobs to manufacture, transport, install, maintain, and recycle renewable energy solutions. Even if one million petroleum workers were displaced, there would be jobs to replace those incomes.

Second, but not secondary is the cumulative effect of individuals becoming masters of their energy, as opposed to utility providers and oil companies. When transportation passed from the hands of the private railroads to the automobile a century ago, the new industry fueled spectacular economic growth.

Most people over 18 appreciate the revolution of information technology, and the subsequent boom in the economy under President Clinton.

Making energy an individual ownership as opposed to a collective commodity would also spur massive economic growth.

A few days ago, we celebrated the 41st anniversary of Apollo 11 landing on the moon. In 1961, when President Kennedy put forth the idea that Americans would land on the moon by 1970, America was behind the Soviets in space exploration.

The idea that the United States would pull ahead of the Soviet Union was no less farfetched than the idea that the United States can be fossil fuel free in 13 years sounds now. But it will require the same kind of commitment that the Apollo program required in the sixties.

One believes that America is still the country of The Right Stuff.

We begin with a commitment that every square inch of government roof is covered with solar panels. This opens the market for research and development. It also jump-starts mass production.

At the moment, solar is accessible to the affluent. What happens when solar goes from US$20,000 to US$2,000 per household? When development improves the efficiency of solar to support the heating, cooling, cleaning, and cooking needs of any home at less than the cost of a year of commercially generated electricity?

Kids, TRY THIS AT HOME!

Finally, with energy from renewable sources supplanting commercially generated electricity, a point will come where some of the science fiction aspects of renewable energy could become reality. Compressed hydrogen fuel cells might go from tax-subsidized parity with gasoline and diesel to the equivalent of fifty cents a gallon.

Oh yes, there would be a few more benefits, like reduced pollution, the effective end of petrodespots, and exports of technology to other countries who already know us and respect us as a fair and honest broker.

President Obama was right when he discussed leadership in renewable energy as a boon for the United States. Our objective is to equate the end of an archaic technology with the same honorable patriotic motivations as the space program.

The objective is not to deprive our compatriots of a living from work in the petroleum industry. The desire is to assure that American exceptionalism be preserved from the interests which threaten liberty through terrorism, environmental destruction, and the ability to control the flow of energy which sustains our nation’s standard of living.

The time is right. Right now.

Tony Hayward Gets His Life Back

It appears that BP has figured out that Tony Blair’s liability to their bottom line goes far, far beyond his million-pound-a-year salary.

This is one of those moments where most of the reasonable world is sitting here going DUH! Hayward has been a leading candidate for a Marie Antoinette Award since the Deepwater Horizon blowout in April.

The Marie Antoinette Award is a big slice of cake ingested directly through the esophagus, because the mouth is no longer connected to the stomach. There are no excuses for tone-deaf pronouncements about getting one’s life back; the “little people”; a billion gallons of crude cut loose in the Gulf of Mexico not being that big a deal.

Revelations of dead porpoises, sea turtles burned alive, cleanup workers without access to safety equipment, and Corexit causing rectal bleeding were similarly unconstructive. At the moment, the only thing Republicans and Democrats agree on is that they hate BP.

For a lot of people, the dead sea critters were the deal breaker. Porpoises and Sea Turtles are extremely sympathetic. If someone had any sense, someone would have accentuated something positive like dead jellyfish. Nobody likes jellyfish. They sting and appear to serve no great purpose.

Nope. Pictures of Flipper lying dead on the beach were what came out. That is the moment when one needs to wave a white flag, shut the hell up, and stop making things worse.

Tony Hayward did not have that kind of sense. He got a wild hair to go yachting off England, in a nice, clean ocean. This was after he told the press he “wanted his life back.” He is lucky he does not have to ask for his HEAD back.

The sad part is that the majority of the people who are going to get hurt are not BP executives. They are for the most part pensioners in the UK and the US who trusted their retirement to British Petroleum. Their stock takes it in the tuchas, but Tony Hayward and his cronies won’t lose a farthing.

This is a short lesson in crisis management for the incoming executive at BP. Let’s use the recent disaster as a template of what to do.

Upon hearing of a major screw-up which includes eleven dead, PICK UP A BLOODY PHONE and contact the media in the nearest large city. Once WWL and WDSU in New Orleans have been assuaged, move to step two.

Step two is to at least LOOK accountable. You call Richard Branson and bring a significant number of staff from London on a chartered airliner straight into Louis Armstrong International. You have 48 hours to get your happy ass on the ground at the disaster site.

Step three is obvious. You need two dozen truckloads of Dawn dishwashing detergent rolling to Grand Isle within 72 hours. And a bunch of toothbrushes. Spend an hour every morning on the beach with a coffee can, a toothbrush, and some dish soap.

This does not mean that your life will not suck until you get the blowout capped, but you will continue to have a life once people have forgotten about your indiscretion. It also assures that your company is not on the verge of getting shut down or nationalized in the country where it is operating. It also means that the investors whose interests you are in charge of protecting do not get wiped out.

Finally, should you find yourself in front of investigators, particularly a political body, remember that YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. There is nothing you can do to appear sympathetic. You have just been caught with your knickers down. This is not a shakedown when you are being held accountable for your own mess.

If someone should attempt to make you out to be the victim, make it clear that you are responsible for a giant problem, and you do not see where living up to your responsibilities makes you a victim.

At this point, you and your dealers are back on the path to profitability.

One hopes that Mr Hayward will enjoy Russia as much as Czar Nicholas.

In 1917.

Fw: American Management Style

This is quite worthy, and beautifully stated.

----Forwarded Message----
From: professor0400@yahoo.com
To: professor0400@yahoo.com
Sent: Mon Jul 5th, 2010 1:19 PM EDT
Subject: Fw: American Management Style

For the past four years, and even before the 2008 elections, I used
slides in my presentations that basically said, "Who would want to be elected
president in 2008?" The conditions were such that failure was the only
option.

Who do we blame for the Great Depression? Most kids of our
generation learned that it was that mean old Herbert Hoover who was elected in
November 1928 and took office in March, 1929. The stock market crashed in
October 1929 and the Great Depression began. Now Hooverdid a lousy
job of trying to help the nation dig out from the stock market crash and his
policies only made things worse so he still deserves the condemnations of
history, but he didn't create the original catastrophe. That was Calvin
Coolidge and the GOP-business dominated interests of the "roarin' twenties."
How does history treat "Silent Cal?" Not as badly as it should. The last time
the richest 5% of Americans earned 90% of the national income was in the late
1920's… until now, when the same conditions prevail. The last time the stock
market went virtually unfettered and banks and other institutions could put
together and market any kind of financial deals they wanted was during the mid
to late 1920's… until now. The last time the nation left its natural resources
unprotected from unlimited exploitation was during the late 1920's to early
1930's… until now. Then we had a dust bowl and agricultural collapse. Now we
have the Gulf polluted and the fishing industry virtually
destroyed. Déjà vu all over again? (Quoting Yogi Berra)

Just as in the early 1930's, a GOP-controlled legislature refused
to take the hard steps necessary to reverse the nation's economic downslide.
Just as in the 1930's, a GOP-minority blocked via the filibuster many of the
changes proposed by Rooseveltto bring the
nation out of the depression. Just as the country had started to recover, in
1935-36, policies that had encouraged development, jobs and infrastructure,
were thrown into reverse because the "country couldn't afford the debt" … and
as a result, the nation suffered a "double-dip" depression that lasted 4 more
years. Look familiar? The same conditions prevail today. Déjà vu
all over again?

Today's budget woes, (deficits running around 15% of GDP, are of
concern, but still pale to other war-time periods in modern American
history. Look at the WWI and WWII periods when the budget deficits were
2-3 times current rates. We have fought America's longest war
and unlike any other wartime period, how have we been paying for Bush's wars?
In other wars, presidents and Congress called for tax increases to pay for what
had to be done. As Americans always do, we grouched and complained, but
we realized that some sacrifice had to be made. But for Bush's war, what
did we do? We've cut taxes to their lowest rates since the early 1980's
and drove up spending. The richest 1% of Americans pay taxes at a lower
rate than the middle 20%. GOP filibustering means that hedge fund
managers (the same guys that drove the economic collapse in the first place)
pay 10% of their multi-million dollar incomes in taxes while an American family
with an $80-100,000 annual income will pay on average 22-26%. Why should
anyone who makes their living from "investing" pay less taxes on that income
than others who make their livings teaching school or managing a small
business? Yet that is the result of the current filibuster and the
trade-offs required to get even a minimum of sense back into regulating
financial markets.

For the first time since the late 1920's, just before the nation
fell into a Great Depression, American workers earn less than 250 times the
senior managers of the companies they work for. As recently as 1980, this
ration was less than 10:1. All the conditions are there for economic disaster,
so the need for some deficit spending, even serious deficit spending is
evident.

But, the argument goes, our children and grandchildren will have to
pay for it all? Well as John Boehner, the GOP House leader said last
week, we could just raise Social Security retirement to 70 and unemployed
people could just take lesser paying jobs. This when a still uncontrolled
Wall Street is paying gazillion dollar bonuses and corporate farmers are
getting annual multi-million dollar allotments from the government. (Like
that farmer in Missouriwho posted a
billboard condemning the unemployed as just being lazy and Obama as a
socialist, too many Americans are looking for the easy answers without the
sacrifice. That farmer, we learned had been paid over $3 million in the last
few years not to grow anything.) Try to change the farm support program
and see if you can get re-elected.

We can eliminate the deficits in less than 5 years if we just go
back to the same tax rates that we had at the END of the Reagan years as president
in 1989. But can we raise taxes? Americans, among all the
industrialized nations of the world, pay the lowest tax rates… and yet we
complain. We'll we are getting what we pay for, bad schools, poor health care
(37th in the world), a collapsing infrastructure of roads, sewers,
water systems, bridges… you name it. In Arizona, the state has
closed half its state parks because it refuses to raise taxes. After all
the rich have their country clubs, they don't need to pay for parks by parting
with less than 1/4 of 1% of their incomes.

No, we will not raise our taxes a couple of percentage points, we
will continue to wallow and accelerate our status as just another banana
republic, with India, China and Brazil simply shaking the dust from their boots
on us. Thank you GOP, de-regulation and tax cuts have trickled down so
well.

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